Hello, I'm a male, 26, very hairy :).  I'm interested in knowing a
couple very good products for permanent hair removal or making hair
grow back less thick.  I do not want information on laser hair removal
or electrolysis as these are expensive, painful, not permanent.  I
think there just has to be a cheaper alternative that gives somewhat
reliable results, some kind of lotion, procedure, something.  I would
settle for something that's not permanent but at least makes the hair
grow back less thick so after a couple uses I will be satisfied with
having hair, just not as thick.  The areas I am most interested in
treating are chest, arms, legs, various body hair.  But if I could get
a few recommendations on products and they work, I might try face
(would save so much money and time on shaving and its products).  I've
tried a pumice stone/sandpaper and it hurt but got hair off, but then
it grew back just as thick.  I don't think I could handle waxing after
seeing the movie, the 40 Year Old Virgin but wouldn't mind seeing it
listed if/when being compared to other methods.  I look forward to
hearing any response.  Thank you.

Why would anybody want to be a lampiņo is beyond me. 

El hombre es como el oso
mientras mas peludo mas hermoso.

Yeah, but people are different man.  Why would anyone answer a Google
Question in Spanish?, because people are different.  Most girls that
I've been with have complained about it, so to me it's just like
losing weight or improving anything about yourself to attract more
girls.  I don't want some story of how I need a better image of
myself, blah blah, etc.  My image of myself is fine, and I don't think
wanting to do something that would make me less hairy is a bad thing. 
If so, you can say the same thing about anyone who dresses up, brushes
their teeth, etc.

Hi Alan, 

Didn't mean to upset you. The part in Spanish is a rhyme that wouldn't
rhyme if  translated, so I left it in the original version.

Literelly translated it says:

"The man is like the bear
the more hair the more handsome"

A more accurate interpretation would be:

"A man is like a bear
handsomer with more hair"

You say most girls you've been with have complained? Gee, not to be
flip, but I think you need to find some other girls. I don't know,
maybe girls are different these days, but this old lady (50+) has
always liked a goodly amount of hair on a man, don't find mostly
hairless men very attractive at all, and I really like a nice beard!
That last especially is a manly attribute no woman can copy (well, no
normal woman, you know what I mean!) and so to me has always seemed a
special sign of manliness and virility. You seem to be feeling some
kind of pressure, which I can understand, though I don't quite get
this exact kind. I'd say just be happy to be male and find a girl who
can appreciate that! I'm sure they must still exist!  :-)  Good luck.

No offense taken Elids, it's a clever quote.  I was just trying to
make the point that people are different.  I'm fine with the beard for
the most part but am interested in doing something about the excessive
hairiness on the body.  There is just too many advertisements and not
well researched proven effective true facts about my different
options.  Byrd, you have the right to your opinion, but similar to the
example I gave in my last comment, to me, you saying you like hairy
guys is like saying you like heavy guys or guys who don't brush their
teeth.  As I said, my image of myself is fine, but I wouldn't mind
improving this part and knowing what my options are.  If I was a
bigger guy and my question was how could I lose a few pounds I
probably wouldn't have the same protesting comments against doing it. 
So, I'm still hoping for the honest well researched proven effective
answer.  Take care.

I'm sorry, but you're quite confused on this matter.  Laser Hair
Removal and Electrolysis are the most permanent solutions you will
find for hair removal.  Waxing will just grow back like the pumis
stone, and not even just play yanking the hair out will make it stay
away.

The only effective "permanent" hair removal solutions are LHR and
Electrolysis.  These have about a 80% removal rate, and would need to
be repeated until satisfactory results are achieved.

You say you're afraid of LHR and Electrolysis, but you're fine with
seeing how waxing rates against other options?  Ok, well, let me rank
them all for you.

Electrolysis: ~90% effective, and hurts a ton, and must be done per
hair, and thus takes a long time.

Laser Hair Removal: ~80% effective, covers wide areas, and is thus
unsuitable for dealing with small lone strands of hair, but since it
works on wider areas, it's much faster, sessions typically taking
15~30 minutes to cover the beard area.  It also hurts a ton, but you
can get anestetic cream, such as LMX (lidocaine) that will help with
the pain.  This *is* effective, I have a female friend who had facial
hair, and had to shave everyday, her results have been very good.  I'm
undergoing it myself for my beard, it's not as effective for me as for
her, as masculine hair is more stubborn than female facial hair.

Waxing: Hurts a ton, ~0% effective (if it were anything more than
that, women would not need to wax their legs for their whole life),
since the hair has been removed at the root, the hair will stay away
for about 4 weeks.

Shaving: Hurts very little, 0% effective, and must be done constantly and often.

Mechanical Epilation: same as waxing, only you use an epilation device
to remove the hair instead of wax, it's basically a devilish device
that has automated tweezers to pull and pluck hairs automatically. 
Hurts a lot, and pulls each hair individually.

Seriously, women have been struggling with hair removal for WAY long
than you have.  There's literally no way arond this.  If you want
permanent, you have to damage the hair focile a lot.  So, you either
burn the hair in the folicle (LHR) or you excite the hair with
electricity and produce lie which damages the folicle (Electrolysis) 
NOTHING ELSE WILL BE ANYTHING CLOSE TO EVEN 10% EFFECTIVE.