I've been planning on asking my girlfriend to marry me for a while,
and of course, I want to get things "just right."  Currently, I'm
trying to figure out some of my options as far as engagement rings go.

In our conversations about engagement rings, she has stated that she
wants to avoid a diamond ring (she has ethical concerns about conflict
diamonds. See:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conflict_diamond ), and
is interested in something "both unconventional and timeless, simple
and elegant."

With that in mind, I was looking around at engagement rings, and I
stumbled upon a little mention on wikipedia.org about "Regards Rings" 
( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regards_ring ).  I like the second
concept mentioned there - a Love Ring, where "love" is spelled by the
first letter of each gem on the ring:  Lapis Lazuli, Opal, Vermarine
(or Violet Amethyst), and Emerald.

So I started searching for rings, and was unable to find something
like that, with one exception: an antique gold love ring. 
Unfortunately it was sold to someone else.  (I did manage to grab the
picture of it off the webpage, and put a copy of it here:
http://www.uploadfile.info/uploads/e1b3dad637.jpg )

My main question is: Where can I get a ring like that?  It doesn't
have to be an exact replica of the one in the image, although I would
like to give her a ring with similar gemstones to the picture.  In my
looking around online, it seems like custom jewelry places are fairly
limited in the types of gems they offer, or simply don't do these
kinds of pieces.

And while I'm asking, two more thoughts: any chance the material of
the ring could be something other than gold?  We've looked at titanium
rings as an alternative to the standard "diamonds and gold" engagement
rings, and liked the idea.  And if this mythical place of business
exists, do they have a physical location somewhere between Boston and
Washington DC?  Just curious, and neither of these two items are
deal-breakers.

Thanks for your help!

Greetings Madrain,

I have located a shop in the UK that sells both "Dearest" and
"Regards" Victorian rings, as well as offering to custom create one of
these rings with whatever word or name you choose.

"You can create a ring with your own significant word spelled out by
the initial letter of each gemstone.  You could choose the name of
your loved one, for example Sarah: Sapphire, Amethyst, Ruby,
Aquamarine, Hessonite garnet or Emma: Emerald, Morganite, Moonstone,
Amethyst."
http://www.london-victorian-ring.com/romantic-rings.htm

MAIN SITE
The London Victorian Ring Company
http://www.london-victorian-ring.com

CONTACT
The London Victorian Ring Co.
100 Hatton Garden
London
EC1N 8NX
England UK
From the UK:   0207 404 4022 
From the USA: 01144 207 404 4022 
mailto:contact@london-victorian-ring.com 

You can inquire as to if they have different precious metals available
for the rings.

********************************

Other pre-made rings I found are as follows (not all are the same -
please view all).

In the U.S. 

A Palm Beach jewelry store that sells "Dearest" rings
http://www.palmbeachjewelry.com/jump.jsp?itemType=PRODUCT&itemID=8405&iProductID=8405&

Same design ring at Blair
http://www.blair.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?pcats=100658,100744,100747&categoryId=100747&catalogId=10001&storeId=10001&productId=31254&langId=-1


In the UK

A Dearest ring, currently out of stock, but you might check back here
to see if they replenish the stock (look approx. 2/3 of the way down
the page)
http://www.sanfords.co.uk/acatalog/Dress_Rings.html

Taj Arts
http://www.tajarts.co.uk/product.php/2081/15/

The British Royal Mint
http://www.royalmint.gov.uk/RoyalMint/web/site/PackedSets/txt_7RDEAR.asp?orderby=release&pg=7

EBAY UK
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/BEAUTIFUL-VICTORIAN-9CT-MULTI-GEMSTONE-DEAREST-RING_W0QQitemZ200020170380QQihZ010QQcategoryZ58552QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
Antique regards ring
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ANTIQUE-ROSE-GOLD-MULTISTONE-REGARDS-RING_W0QQitemZ8941070949QQihZ004QQcategoryZ58552QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem


In Australia
http://www.ohmygiddyaunt.com.au/products/storyrings/dearest.php

**********************************

"Dearest Heart" pendant - same idea, but in neckwear - you might get
this for her as a bride's gift - surprise her on your honeymoon.  : )

From an Australian store
http://www.justjewellery.com.au/ViewProduct.aspx?ProductId=631

Two differently designed Dearest pendants (round and heart)
http://irishop.stores.yahoo.net/dearestrange.html
The heart-shaped one from another site
http://www.fallers.com/cart/view_product_detail.php?product_id=2170&category_id=16
The round one from a different site
http://www.irishindeed.com/browse.cfm/4,2112.html

Still another design (very Victorian)
http://www.laurelleantiquejewellery.co.uk/erol.html#309x0&&http%3A%252F%252Fwww.google.com%252Fsearch%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26rls%3DGGLG%252CGGLG%253A2005-20%252CGGLG%253Aen%26q%3Ddearest+pendant

******************************

Although I found no location where you requested, these rings are much
like "mother's rings" where semi-precious gemstones are set for the
months in which children are born.  I suggest you print out the images
of a few of the rings I've provided, and visit a few jewelry stores in
tour area.  I'll wager they can take just about any multi-set ring and
custom set the stones you want to spell whatever you like.

I must say, this is a very romantic quest you've undertaken, and I
wish you all the best in your upcoming marriage.  : )

Should you require any clarification of the answer I've provided,
please request it and I will be happy to respond.

Best regards,
journalist-ga


SEARCH STRATEGY

victorian regards ring
lazuli opal amethyst emerald love
"Regards Ring"
"Regards Ring" Victorian
"dearest ring" victorian
"dearest ring"
"dearest ring" custom
dearest pendant

Thanks for your very timely answer (and sorry about the lateness of my
reply!).  I contacted the London Victorian Ring Company, and exchanged
several emails with staff there about my options.  I'm clearly taking
my time in making a final decision, and I'm glad this helped me narrow
my search some.

I just wanted to say that I applaud your girlfriend's views on
diamonds and it is wonderful that she does not want to support the
diamond industry. Most people don't care and would rather listen to
the DeBeers' taglines and imagine that they should spend two months'
salary on a gem that is so ill-gotten. It's very enlightened of her.

I hope you will take this comment as it is intended - just as food for
thought.  I think it is wonderful that you and your intended want her
ring to be meaningful and without the taint of having been produced by
an abusive process.  Taste in jewelry is very individual and personal,
but in my opinion, the rings described in your question and in the
answer are anything but "both unconventional and timeless, simple and
elegant."

It seems to me that any piece of jewelry with multiple colors cannot
be called simple.  An engagement ring should have a simple elegance
that allows it to be worn with any fashion, type or color of clothing.
 The heart and flower shapes on many of the rings take them further
away from that ideal of simplicity and elegance.

The rings seem to me to be to be typical products of the
overly-sentimental and overly-embellished Victorian tastes that
created them.  They appear to me as very dated, not in any way
timeless.  One of these rings would certainly be unconventional as a
21st century engagement ring, but maybe not in a good way.

It couldn't hurt to do a little more exploration of her thoughts,
asking whether she might like something like the rings you are
considering.  If she says yes, then you can still surprise her with
the particular color and design you choose, and know that she will
love what you have chosen.  If she seems iffy about the idea, it could
be an opportunity to get her to specify more exactly what she would
like.   Maybe she would like a ring with her birthstone, or yours.  
Perhaps a stone that matches the color of her eyes.  Maybe an
interestingly-shaped ring without a stone that would go with anything.

Again, I offer this only as my own opinion.  You certainly know your
girlfriend's taste better than I do, and maybe she would love this
sort of thing.  But the type of rings you are considering seem to me
to be directly counter to her stated wishes.