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Q: Amazon ( Answered 5 out of 5 stars,   14 Comments )
Subject: Amazon
Category: Business and Money > eCommerce
Asked by: probonopublico-ga
List Price: $2.00
Posted: 10 Sep 2006 21:10 PDT
Expires: 10 Oct 2006 21:10 PDT
Question ID: 764040
I've just heard that they've bought a river somewhere AND a rainforest.

Are these the next big thing for such Corporate giants in their quest
for globalisation?

If so, would it now be a good idea for me to buy the Nile?

Or should I start with something smaller?

Many thanks!

A Shrewd Investor

Request for Question Clarification by sublime1-ga on 10 Sep 2006 23:39 PDT
You might consider starting with the city of Bryan, Texas...they're
due for a tax increase, and the guy in the picture already bears a
resemblance to you...doesn't he?

Clarification of Question by probonopublico-ga on 10 Sep 2006 23:52 PDT
Sorry, Subby, But that guy looks NOTHING like me!

I've got HAIR ... OK so maybe it's thinning but who wants fat hair?
Subject: Re: Amazon
Answered By: pinkfreud-ga on 12 Sep 2006 10:59 PDT
Rated:5 out of 5 stars

Thank you for accepting my suggestion as your official answer.

I believe it would be a very wise move to buy the Arkansas River (or
at least the portion of it that is not in Arkansas). As I mentioned in
my comment, there are plans underway to build a chain of islands in
the middle of the river, and if you owned the river, you'd sure be in
a position to make a boatload o' money from those island-building
Tulsa tycoons. You could become a moustache-twirling river mogul. Okie
gals just love an English accent, and I can imagine that a bevy of 'em
will flock to the dock to swoon at your feet. I will not be among the
swooning hordes, since I am an old married lady. But I may stand on
the opposite bank of the river and wave my hanky, like Dido with a
willow in her hand or Dumbo with a carrot in his trunk.

The river would need a new name, of course. I suggest "The Ranby
River." It has an nice alliterative quality, and I bet you can
trademark it and sell it to those island chumps.

To further tempt you, here are two pretty pictures of the river in question:

I hope you'll float along real soon. We're saving some catfish for you.

probonopublico-ga rated this answer:5 out of 5 stars and gave an additional tip of: $10.00
Many thanks, Pink!

I will have to check with my friendly banker first but he's usually
around keeping a watchful eye on me ... Right?

Many thanks for the piccies, these will be needed for the formal
presentation to the Bankvorsitzender of the Deutsches Fluss-Bank (Herr

All the Best


Subject: Re: Amazon
From: crabcakes-ga on 10 Sep 2006 23:41 PDT

   I'd start with the Po River, of Italy. You could then rename it Pobonopublico!

Ta ta, Crabcakes
Subject: Re: Amazon
From: probonopublico-ga on 10 Sep 2006 23:54 PDT
Hi, Crabby, the River Po sounds great but I reckon that it's much more
suitable for Pinkfreud who is always writing little Pos.

Subject: Re: Amazon
From: myoarin-ga on 11 Sep 2006 02:26 PDT
What about Bryan, Ohio:

or if you find the place unattractive or the people unhospitable to
you, this place would certainly not have those problems:
If that is too remote or cold, then:
this perhaps:

I don't think you would want Probo, in West AFrica:  (but nice median temp, 26c)

Oh, my goodness!  I see that you already have a business in the States.
Please, everyone don't read further.

I knew you appreciate beautiful women, but this?!
Subject: Re: Amazon
From: answerfinder-ga on 11 Sep 2006 02:26 PDT

You could go out of this world. The food processing company has
purchased Mars. Why not go and buy a planet. Not poor old Pluto
though. That sounds like a poor investment following the IAU decision.
Don?t go for Uranus, its pronunciation  is often a source of smutty
humour.  What about a galaxy? You?ll have to change its name as
something like NGC4549 doesn?t roll of the tongue.

But why think in such small terms? Go for the ultimate, the oil
company Total has. Why not go for Everything? Or linking in with the
above, the Universe.

Subject: Re: Amazon
From: probonopublico-ga on 11 Sep 2006 12:07 PDT
Oh Myo ...

What have you done!

The Escort Agency was supposed to be a BIG SECRET.

Oh Answerfinder ...

Your undiluted ambition scares me!

I'm just looking for a liquid investment, one I can keep an eye on ...

I don't want to have to go shooting off to Mars to check out the
Martians, after all I can't speak their language.

Still, if I could get Myo to finance me and You to handle the security side ...

Who knows?

Subject: Re: Amazon
From: pinkfreud-ga on 11 Sep 2006 12:27 PDT

I suggest that you consider purchasing the Arkansas River. Despite its
name, not all of it is in Arkansas. Part of it extends into the much
superior state of Oklahoma. In fact, the Arkansas River runs right
past my house. I could stand on my roof and throw a stone into it, if
I were a really good stone-thrower.

This might be a particularly good time to buy the Arkansas River,
since there has been a lot of discussion lately about doing various
things to the river to help increase tourism in Tulsa. There's even a
serious plan to create artificial islands in the river and build
expensive homes and office buildings on the islands.

Obviously, if you owned the river, you'd be in a great position to
profit. Perhaps this is what is meant by "liquid assets."

Subject: Re: Amazon
From: crabcakes-ga on 11 Sep 2006 12:45 PDT
Why is the guy embracing the idea of building islands in the Arkansa
River wearing such dirty pants? He must be from the Arkansas side. LOL
Subject: Re: Amazon
From: pinkfreud-ga on 11 Sep 2006 13:28 PDT
My dear Crabby, 

Lately I see a lot of young men wearing pants that look as if they
have had a long history as scrub rags in a truck garage. It's a
fashion trend. I believe this is one way that affluent young folks can
show their disdain for the trappings of wealth. Of course, the
artfully dingy pants cost a couple hundred bucks, but disdain ain't
cheap these days.

Subject: Re: Amazon
From: myoarin-ga on 11 Sep 2006 13:44 PDT
Sorry about that, Bryan.  The truth will out, but I see that you also
have a nice bar and restaurant on the Virgin Islands, a good place to
go and repair your reputation.

Here is a nice little place in Yorkshire that is just waiting for a
new Bryan to move into the manor house:
It probably won't bother you that the Methodist church has closed; it
still has a pub, The Nags Head, AND its own college.  As a published
author, you should be able to get immediately a position as a
governor, which would be a nice handle:
Subject: Re: Amazon
From: sublime1-ga on 11 Sep 2006 16:07 PDT
"Of course, the artfully dingy pants cost a couple hundred bucks,
 but disdain ain't cheap these days."

Disdain would come out if they just washed them with the right detergent.
Subject: Re: Amazon
From: pinkfreud-ga on 11 Sep 2006 16:28 PDT
>> Disdain would come out if they just washed them with the right detergent.

Maybe with some pants, but not despair.
Subject: Re: Amazon
From: myoarin-ga on 11 Sep 2006 17:39 PDT
Oooh, auch, Pinky!
That was just horribaly 
Midwestern punny.
Subject: Re: Amazon
From: probonopublico-ga on 11 Sep 2006 22:11 PDT
Aw, c'mon Pinky ...

You can't fool me with your Photoshop trickery any more ...

I've been to Tulsa (remember?) so I know what it's really like when
the Cotton Blossom comes a-paddlin' along the river and all the
Tulsonians gather on the banks a-singin' ... 'Ole Man River, wider
than a mile, I'm cursin' you in style ...'

And you in your gingham dress, wearing bunches an' all ... Lookin'
just as purty as Shirley Jones did when she was a-causin' trouble in
River City.

But ... please go ahead and post an answer ...

I guess with Myoarin's money behind me I can easily start off with
that little river even though you will certainly be a-throwin' stones
at me and my fellow guests as we cruise by.

(All those who have commented are invited to join me on a triumphal
cruise past Pinky's Estate.)

Subject: Re: Amazon
From: pinkfreud-ga on 12 Sep 2006 12:25 PDT

That 'Gaylord' gave me a bit of a start, until I remembered 'Showboat.'

Many thanks for the five twinklers and the whopper tip. This should
help with the expenses of crinoline petticoats, silk hair ribbons, and
the whalebone corsets that are necessary for proper maintenance of a
Southern belle. They're not using real whale bones in corsets these
days. Thanks to the magic of science, women can be in constant pain
while being squeezed and crushed by synthetic substances while the
whales splash around comfortably in the ocean (with big fat waists).

~Pinklett O'Hara

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