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Q: For Sublime1: Why is John such an unfortunate name? ( Answered 5 out of 5 stars,   9 Comments )
Subject: For Sublime1: Why is John such an unfortunate name?
Category: Miscellaneous
Asked by: probonopublico-ga
List Price: $5.00
Posted: 26 Sep 2006 22:39 PDT
Expires: 26 Oct 2006 22:39 PDT
Question ID: 768750
Hi Subby

I recall that: 

John the Baptist lost his head over a young woman;

John F Kennedy lost his life to either one or maybe a contingent of
snipers hired by the KGB, the Mafia and the CIA (simultaneously);

King John had to sign the Magna Carta;

Prince John met his match at the hands of Errol Flynn;

Johns are always the recipients of ?Dear John? letters;

An unknown dead male body is referred to as ?John Doe?;

Poor Johnny One Note could only sing one note:

John O'Groats is not worth visiting;

The infamous Whitechapel serial killer was dubbed ?Jack the Ripper?;

?The John? is synonymous with the ?Water Closet?; etc., etc.

Could you please list 1,000 more examples and draw some meaningful
conclusions from these phenomena?

Also, what advice can you give to any man burdened with such a name?


Request for Question Clarification by crabcakes-ga on 26 Sep 2006 22:45 PDT
Hello Bryan,

   I have been asked, by the exalted Sublime1 to advise you that his
PC is temporarily out of service. Seems he fired his power supply, and
being late at night, he may have to wait for tomorrow to replace it.

   I know he will give you a wonderful answer upon his return!

   Crabcakes of the Valley

PS You forgot to mention the American nickname for the loo, the JOHN!!!

Clarification of Question by probonopublico-ga on 26 Sep 2006 23:51 PDT
Hi Crabby

Great to hear from you again!

Sorry to hear about Subby's probs. Please convey my commiserations.
I'm sure that he will soon get them sorted.

Actually, I ended my list with: 

?The John? is synonymous with the ?Water Closet?.

Naturally, living in a valley, this would have gone over your head
but, for the benefit of all Valleyonians everywhere, 'Water Closet' is
a refined way of referring to 'the loo' or 'the can' or ....

Anyhow, which valley do you mean, the Valley of the Dolls?

All the Best


Request for Question Clarification by crabcakes-ga on 27 Sep 2006 00:06 PDT
No dolls, just cactus in this valley. I must be too tired to read, and
write, since I missed the WC! Ooops.


Clarification of Question by probonopublico-ga on 27 Sep 2006 00:53 PDT
What do you mean 'G'night!'?

Here in the Mother Country the time is now nearly 9 a.m. ...

In other words, G'morning is far more appropriate.

Please adjust your clocks!

Subject: Re: For Sublime1: Why is John such an unfortunate name?
Answered By: sublime1-ga on 27 Sep 2006 22:50 PDT
Rated:5 out of 5 stars
My dear Bryx...

My advice to anyone with this common denomination (whose parents
were, obviously, common denominators), is that all things come in
balance and there are certainly a sufficient number of fortunate
Juans (or ones) who bear this moniker to offset the number of 
unfortunate examples in your list:

- John ("Jack") Russell, "The Sporting Parson" was an enthusiastic
  hunter and dog breeder as well as an ordained minister. He was
  reputed to be a man who enjoyed good living."Jack")Russell

- Lame Deer, (1900 or 1903-1976, sources differ), also known as
  John Fire, John (Fire) Lame Deer and later, often the Old Man.

- John Danaher, also known as John Danagher, was an Irish recipient
  of the Victoria Cross, the highest and most prestigious award for
  gallantry in the face of the enemy that can be awarded to British
  and Commonwealth forces.

- John Glenn (1921- ) piloted the first American manned orbital
  mission on February 20, 1962. He flew NASA's Friendship 7, a
  Mercury-Atlas 6 spacecraft, to about 162 miles in altitude,
  going at a maximum orbital velocity of about 17,500 miles per
  hour. This mission orbited the Earth 3 times and lasted 4 hours,
  55 minutes, and 23 seconds, from launch to impact in the Atlantic
  Ocean. In 1998, 36 years later, Glenn flew a 9-day mission on the
  Space Shuttle (STS-95). ...

- John Hutchinson: [David] Bowie's friend and fellow musician in
  early collaborations with Bowie in the Buzz and Feathers bands.
  He played rhythm guitar on the Japanese Tour and on the 3rd UK

- John Wycliffe (c.1328-84) English philosopher, theologian and
  reformer. He is known for his English translation of the Bible
  and has been called the "Morning Star of the Reformation."

- John Locke (1632-1794) - British political theorist of the
  Enlightenment who argued that government should be based on
  the consent of the governed, and that people had the right
  to revolt against ineffective or unfair government. His most
  famous work, Two Treatises on Government, was published in 1690.

- John von Neumann: American mathematician (1903 - 1957) who
  invented the CPU architecture used in most modern computers.

- John - English: from the Hebrew name Yochanan "Jehova has
  favoured (me with a son)."

...from this Google search:

Then there's John the Beloved - how lucky can you get?
(Please refrain from bring up the Baptist at this juncture.)


P.S. I'm pretty sure that's 1000 entries but, as you know,
my computer crashed during the past 24 hours, and it may
not have counted correctly.
probonopublico-ga rated this answer:5 out of 5 stars and gave an additional tip of: $5.00
My dear John

(Oops, sorry, I meant Sublime1.)

I am so glad that your computer is up and running again but I was very
disappointed that you did not post a $200 question here, requesting my

I could have advised you that too many French Fries are good for
neither Man nor Beast and also nor Machine (if that's grammatical
which it ain't.)

Anyhow, you got here in the end - but alas - not within the time frame
of 24 hours that, according to the Freqs, is the ideal in which
(allegedly) most questions get answered.

I am so glad that you have compiled some more dubious Johns but
somehow you missed Don Juan, a real blackguard, and Big Bad John who
has been commemorated in a song (of sorts) ... and there must surely
be many more. Wasn't Jackie Kennedy's pop known as 'Black Jack

I guess that the list is endless and that the few exceptions 'prove
the rule', as the saying goes.

Anyhow you have kept the ball rolling nicely and I promise not to
mention either Salome or her stepfather, whoever he might have been.

For future reference, please place a fuse in the plug and a UPS where
DHL won't find it.

All the Best


Subject: Re: For Sublime1: Why is John such an unfortunate name?
From: answerfinder-ga on 27 Sep 2006 01:01 PDT

As an Englishman, I must add one to your list: John Bull. Not a
derogatory name, but in these days of political correctness, some of
aspects of his character are unpopular.

?John Bull, is  - British Character at large,
Plain, blunt, his heart with feeling, justice full,
That is a Briton, that?s (thank heaven!) John Bull.?

George Coleman the Younger, 1803

Subject: Re: For Sublime1: Why is John such an unfortunate name?
From: kemlo-ga on 27 Sep 2006 01:42 PDT
Subject: Re: For Sublime1: Why is John such an unfortunate name?
From: kemlo-ga on 27 Sep 2006 01:44 PDT


Subject: Re: For Sublime1: Why is John such an unfortunate name?
From: myoarin-ga on 27 Sep 2006 03:49 PDT
John is also used as an expression for a customer by members of "the
oldest profession" in some areas  - not necessarily "unfortunate", but
not flattering.

John Doe (and Richard Roe) seem to have a long history and are widely
accepted as a term for an unknown person in police circles:

And then there is "Black Jack" as an unflattering nickname for someone named John.

Kemlo:  Ned Kelly's first name was Edward.
Subject: Re: For Sublime1: Why is John such an unfortunate name?
From: sublime1-ga on 28 Sep 2006 01:32 PDT
B Ryan...

Thanks very much for the constellation and the tip!

I would have regretted receiving an answer to (and thus, paying
for) a $200 question, since my own clever troubleshooting skillz
detected a high-pitched whine (failing capacitor, to the trained
observer) from the power supply, which, even though testing good
at the store of purchase (Fry's Electronics), was replaced for
free, 14 months after I bought it! So it only cost me the price
of petrol, as ye Brits call it, to drive to the store (twice - 
the first replacement had a 12+V reading which the Motherboard
Monitor program (free) was outside the advertised 5% tolerance).
Yes! They replaced it again!

From this, you might well conclude that I'm way too picky to be
the kind of customer you'd want to deal with on a $200 question
(clarification hell) anyway.

Food for thought.

Best regards...

Subject: Re: For Sublime1: Why is John such an unfortunate name?
From: probonopublico-ga on 28 Sep 2006 02:41 PDT

If ever I were to become a GAR - Heaven Forbid! - YOU would certainly
be my favourite customer, especially if you helped me to keep the wolf
from the door by feeding me $200 Questions plus $100 Tips.

Subject: Re: For Sublime1:are you sure John Lock is ahundred and sixty-two years old?
From: kemlo-ga on 28 Sep 2006 08:42 PDT
John Locke (1632-1794) - British
Subject: Re: For Sublime1: Why is John such an unfortunate name?
From: probonopublico-ga on 28 Sep 2006 09:34 PDT
My apologies ...

How could we all have forgotten Britain's Deputy Prime Minister?

John Prescott!

He had a well publicised affair with his Diary Secretary and also
accepted undeclared hospitality from some American tycoon.

We'll nail then all eventually!
Subject: Re: For Sublime1: Why is John such an unfortunate name?
From: answerfinder-ga on 29 Sep 2006 01:57 PDT
And one or two murderers.
John Reginald Halliday Christie - killed 8 women
John Wayne Gacy - 33 murders
John Haigh - acid in the bath murder
John Wilkes Booth - shot Abe Lincoln

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