I own a home in Albuquerque, New Mexico. My girlfriend of 8 years (who
has actually only lived with me for the last 10 months) and I broke up
4 weeks ago. In short, I found someone else. I agreed to let her stay
a month or two to get her finances in order. She pays no rent or
utilities whatsoever. She used to buy most of the groceries once she
moved in with me, but that ceased altogether once we broke up, so now
she is staying with me absolutely for free. After the blow up, I had
her sleep in a spare bedroom. Meanwhile I'm still sleeping in the
master bedroom but with the door locked, as she threatened at one
point to cut off part of my anatomy with a knife while I slept.
Initially she had located a place to move and demanded $1400 for first
and last month's rent on the place. I agreed and got a cash advance on
a credit card and gave her the money. Supposedly she was leaving
within two days. That was over three weeks ago. The day after I gave
her the money she said she didn't get the apartment, as someone else
rented it just before her. A week or so later she demanded $5000, as
she's laboring under the delusion that I have a lot of money at my
disposal, failing to realize I have a very expensive mortgage and
numerous other bills. I told her I did not have the money to give her,
nor could I afford to borrow it. I could only offer her--as I had
offered earlier--a couple of months of living with me rent free while
she saved her money toward moving. Now she says she absolutely will
not vacate the premises ever until I give her $5000 and is quite
belligerent and petulant about it. The situation has become extremely
uncomfortable to say the least. I would like her to be out within 30
days at the very latest. That would be 7 rent-free weeks plus the
$1400 I gave her to help her move. I think that's adequate to get
situated elsewhere. How do I go about getting her out, giving her
official legal notice, and so forth? I'd like to be able to notify her
that the locks are changing on such and such a date and that she must
be gone by then. She has several items of furniture in the house,
along with enormous amounts of clothes and some kitchen items. Half
the two-car garage is filled with boxes of her stuff that wouldn't fit
into the house.

This is a tough one, in view of your long relationship.

It looks to me as though it could be messy as a divorce and then some.

Maybe if you could secretly record some of your conversations with
her, that might help ... her physical threats particularly.

However, I know absolutely nothing about New Mexico.

Clearly you need a good lawyer. Correction, a VERY GOOD lawyer.

If she has made a threat or threats record those.  Go to court for a
protection order that would order her out of the house - with the
assistance of sherrifs deputies, if necessary.  Also, start eviction
proceedings in landlord tenant court.  Give her written notice to
vacate the premises immediately.  Consult an attorney - go to legal
aid if you cannot afford one.

Do not give her any more money.

The comment from daniel2d-ga covered the issue perfectly.  New Mexico
is not a common-law marriage state, so the issue of how long she has
lived there is immaterial.  However, the fact that you have had a
relationship does complicate things, because it becomes a "domestic"
relationship under the law.

The next time she makes any threats, I would go to the police station
(don't bother calling them out, unless you feel the threat is actually
credible) and file a report.  With the report in hand, you can now
look into getting a Personal Protection Order (PPO) -- a restraining
order.  I don't know the PPO process in New Mexico, but here in
Michigan there are special forms for domestic and nondomestic PPOs.

As far as the eviction process goes, you will definitely need a lawyer
for that too.  Because there is no formal lease and no rent being
paid, that muddies the eviction issue.

As the esteemed probono noted, you need a VERY GOOD lawyer.

I would have to say that if no contract/no agreement is in writing.
Then you can move her and her stuff out at anytime. If she is not on
the mortgage and has no claims to the house/property. She has no right
to the house.

I don't want to sound insensitive about your relationship with her.
But, if you can just find someone else (which is good) and then dumb
her after 8 years. You can grow enough guts to toss her junk out. I
understand you want to be a nice guy and everything. But you gotta do
what you gotta do. Besides, all she is doing is robbing you. You can't
do anything about the money she already took. But DO NOT GIVE HER
MONEY. Espeacially after threating your man stuff.

My brothers friend was just kicked out of his girlfriends house. They
were together for around 6 years. Living together for a year. She
kicked him out and he has no grounds to do anything. This is in
Michigan.

In regards to a lawyer. You probably don't need one. How can she even
take you to court? Does she have any legal documents supporting her
case to the house or living in the house?

Good luck.

Thanks for all the helpful comments. There is no written lease or
rental agreement. She's not on any of the house documents. I purchased
the house before I ever knew her.

We did have a verbal agreement that her contribution toward the
household expenses once she moved in last December is that she would
buy the groceries and kick in $100 or $200 monthly. The groceries she
followed through on, though that has now ceased as of a month ago; the
rest she didn't and I just let that go.

Looks like I better consult a lawyer and see about starting eviction proceedings.

Throw her crap in the street and change the locks.

I would also burn her broomstick.

I agree with Probo, tape record some of her excesses, it may not be
legal, but it will give you ammunition.

You sound as if you need to see a lawyer, but get his/her fee
structure agreed before you commit yourself.

There is a possibility that she is actually helpless and needs
assistance finding a place - but her cash demands sound a bit
opportunistic.