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Q: Dating someone risky from El Salvador (in Canada). ( No Answer,   4 Comments )
Subject: Dating someone risky from El Salvador (in Canada).
Category: Relationships and Society > Relationships
Asked by: yehoshua-ga
List Price: $30.00
Posted: 20 Oct 2006 13:11 PDT
Expires: 09 Nov 2006 15:39 PST
Question ID: 775430
My question is simply this...

I recently met someone who moved here from El Salvador.  Through
conversation and finding out that she is very wealthy, I have
discovered that her and her family are like extremely rich.  Her
father owns a factory and multiple port warehouses there and she owns
a couple companies here.
But I constantly get the feeling like I have gotten involved with a
girl who's family is more influencial than she admits.  I am just
really intimidated by the idea of all that money and the power that
her family has, cuz I am a simple guy that makes an average
professional salary per year, but she quadruples mine easily.
Am I in over my head?  I feel like a homeless guy would feel trying to
date the presidents daughter!  lol

Clarification of Question by yehoshua-ga on 20 Oct 2006 13:23 PDT
I should clarify...

I am not having a problem with the money she has.  I uncomfortable
with the idea that her family is extremely powerful in her home
country, and I am a nobody (in the sense of titles).  Please look at
the whole question.

Request for Question Clarification by nenna-ga on 23 Oct 2006 13:41 PDT
What sort of question are you asking? I understand your situation and
your feelings, but can't come up with what you'd like us to answer for


Clarification of Question by yehoshua-ga on 24 Oct 2006 08:15 PDT
Ahh...nevermind.  I will figure it out.  
This seems to be a question for Dr.Phil or
There is no answer at this time.

Subject: Re: Dating someone risky from El Salvador (in Canada).
From: research_help-ga on 20 Oct 2006 13:16 PDT
Why should salaries or wealth matter? Either you like her or you
don't.  It shouldn't make a difference what she has in the bank. 
Would you like her less if she were less well off than you?
Subject: Re: Dating someone risky from El Salvador (in Canada).
From: pinkfreud-ga on 20 Oct 2006 13:32 PDT
One problem that can arise in this kind of situation is that the
wealthy person (or the family) may be very concerned about the
possibility that a non-wealthy suitor could be a fortune-hunter whose
main motive is money rather than genuine affection.

I once dated a young man who came from a wealthy family. He had been
raised to be suspicious of "gold-diggers" who might pretend to like
him only because of his money. Unfortunately, his suspicions were so
ingrained that he could not believe that I truly liked him for
himself. We broke up, and several years later I learned that he had
married a rich girl.
Subject: Re: Dating someone risky from El Salvador (in Canada).
From: myoarin-ga on 20 Oct 2006 16:00 PDT
I think you are right to be thinking about the situation.  If what you
describe is true, one day you could feel that all the financial
decisions are hers.  Sure, you share in the decision of which house
(second home?), which expensive vacation, etc., but the original idea
of what can be afforded and the final yes/no may be hers.
Many men have a problem with that.  We're suppose to be the
breadwinners  - at least thinking we are capable of supporting our
family.  But if one discovers that it isn't adequate to maintain the
lifestyle the wife is accustomed to and can easily afford, that can
get to a man's self-respect with time.  And with time, the things that
bond a marriage change, one of them being the way decisions are made.

This does not have to be the case; it depends on the individuals,
perhaps greatly on how savvy the man is in financial matters, earning
her respect as a confidant and advisor  - and also the respect of her
Maybe there are other ways equal respect can be achieved.  This is
just the one that I have seen in a couple of marriages.
Maybe this is not the case for North Americans these days, but she
belongs to the elite of a different society.  Cross cultural marriages
can have conflicts that have nothing to do with money and
social/political power, but they add an additional area for conflict.

You say that you are more worried about her family's influential
position in El Salvador than the wealth.  Is this entirely true, being
completely honest?  The money would seem to be the immediate factor.
Will the interaction with her family remain so important now that she
has moved to Canada - for how permenantly?  Is she establishing a
family foothold in Canada?

Don't answer my questions here; ask yourself.

I certainly don't mean to discourage you, but you asked us to look at
the whole question.  I think the answer is more complicated than the
first comment suggests.

Good luck, Myoarin
Subject: Re: Dating someone risky from El Salvador (in Canada).
From: youngeroldguy-ga on 05 Nov 2006 19:44 PST
My bro-in-law married a beautiful but mentally ill woman in Latin
America. This father too owned businesses and had muchos pesos. Well,
the marriage lasted about 10 years I guess, a child was born, the
bride spent much of her time with her parents and the groom refused to
take a job in the old man's employ. Much to my amazement. I don't how
much the parents would interfere because they can do it whether you
work for them or not.

They finally divorced and the child grew to be a very nice young woman
while residing with the mother.  Unfortunately, the mental illness
became too much for this poor woman and she finally committed suicide
in a most gruesome fashion while in her parents home.

What does this mean to you?  Well, first hire someone to make sure she
is telling the truth before marrying her. Visas are hard to get, you
know. Secondly, it is OK to marry a rich girl if you both are in love
and compatible. We all wish, at some time or other, to predict the
future, but we can't and get some real surprises in our life. You try
to minimize them in a marriage by doing your homework, but even then
you might be surprised.

In my wealthy community rich children marry rich children, for the
most part. I guess they feel more comfortable with them.  I wish I had
married a rich woman (LOL)

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