My mother is a wonderful woman, a widow with Alzheimer's.  As she
began to get less independent, a former colleague (married and living
with his wife of 56 years) began spending more time at her house.  He
began to intrude on her financial, banking, and medical business, and
criticize her family to her, insisting that no one had her best
interest at heart except him.  The police took her car keys after she
got lost and was missing locally for two nights--just driving in big
circles.  He told her we were being cruel to her to sell the car. 
When, on the advice of her neurologist, we sold her home and moved her
to an Independent Living facility, he went through the trash at her
curb and told her we were throwing out "all her treasures and
memories."  Turns out, he was also taking advantage of her sexually--I
found out when in a lucid moment, she cried and told me that she "let
him, because I was afraid he wouldn't be my friend anymore."  We tried
several times to set parameters for his behavior, but he seemed to
feel entitled to pick her up and drive her several counties away,
counsel her on personal business matters, and undermine her
relationship with all her family members.  Finally, we ended his
visits. We had an attorney send a letter informing him to stay away. 
His response was to get in the car and phone us from her apartment. 
He hid in the bathroom when a family member came to drive her to
safety.  We have moved her twice, because he keeps finding her.  The
Assisted Living Facility where she now is put him on a Criminal
Trespass warning.

At one point, we notified the local police department.  The living
facility is not comfortable with her walking outside the building,
because they are afraid he might drive up.  She is so sweet and
trusting, if someone invited her to get in, she would.  The police
interviewed Mother and were convinced that she does not remember
knowing this man and does not want to see him or speak with him.  This
has been phone-communicated to him by the police.  (He lives in a
different city nearby).  Because she probably consented to the sexual
activity, they didn't think it was worth pursuing that
charge--competence to consent being somewhat difficult to demonstrate,
evidently.

He calls me, he calls my brother, he calls our aunt, he has people
call on his behalf, he is relentless--even though it has been about 8
months since we ended his contact with her.  (He can't call her
anymore, because her phone is now unlisted.  Before he was calling a
dozen times a day and even took her to by a fancy cell phone so he
could get through if her phone was busy.  She was unable to work the
cell phone and ran up $800 in charges dialing her Voice Mail!)  His
messages sound obsessive--insists that he loves my mother "more than
any man ever loved a woman."  It's offensive, but not pornographic. 
He even hired a private detective to try to find her--we found out
when they called my aunt.  My brother called the agency, explained the
situation and they backed off the case.  My brother and I have also
told this man to leave us and our family alone, not to call or contact
us again.  It does no good. Mother is now blissfully unaware of the
problem, but it causes a great deal of stress in my life.  In his
latest message, he said that since I won't return his calls, he needs
to start calling my colleagues at work and asking them for the
information he wants.

I have notified his wife and his daughter.  His daughter tried to
"reason" with him, but this is not a matter of reason.

It seems that a person should have a basic right to be left alone. 
How does one legally exercise such a right?

Dear texasmiss-ga

Thank you for allowing me to answer your interesting question. Take
this as fact coming from someone with more than two decades of law
enforcement experience: The squeaky wheel REALLY DOES get the grease.

As far as YOU are concerned you are entitled to YOUR privacy and
protection from harassment. You should insist that your local law
enforcement agency file a report and criminal charges:

Sec. 42.01. Disorderly Conduct.
http://www.bakers-legal-pages.com/fastlaws/pc2004/00000269.htm
Sec. 42.07. Harassment.
http://www.bakers-legal-pages.com/fastlaws/pc2004/00000277.htm
Sec. 42.072. Stalking.
http://www.bakers-legal-pages.com/fastlaws/pc2004/00000278.htm

Explain that you would like to obtain a restraining order or a
protective order (whichever is appropriate) against this man on your
behalf and on your mother?s behalf since she is also a victim and now
unable to manage her own affairs. If you are unable to persuade a law
enforcement officer to investigate your case call his supervisor or if
necessary call the shift commander and demand protection. Believe me
your level of persistence will determine what kind of results you
produce. If you still get no satisfaction call your local city council
reprehensive, mayor, city manager or state representative (being an
election season in many areas you WILL draw some attention this way if
it comes down to that). Be sure to explain that the man is
unpredictable and possibly even unstable and poses a danger to you and
your family. In the vent that these do not produce acceptable results
you might consider contacting the Texas Attorney General?s Office
http://www.oag.state.tx.us/
Short of that you should consider retaining an attorney where your own
interests are concerned.

Where your mother is concerned you should call the following
organizations if necessary who can potentially assist you by virtue of
HUMAN RESOURCES CODE CHAPTER 48. INVESTIGATIONS AND PROTECTIVE
SERVICES FOR ELDERLY AND DISABLED PERSONS.
http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/txcodes/hr.002.00.000048.00.htm

This may do little in the way of relieving YOU of this persistent
irritation but it may go a long way toward protecting your mother,
thus perhaps ending your own annoyance. Remember, exploitation and
abuse of an elderly person is a CRIME and this man needs to have
someone get his attention notwithstanding the fact that he may be an
elderly person himself. Call all these people and you WILL generate
some attention to your problem, I guarantee it.
 
Texas Department of Family and Protective Services
http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Adult_Protection/How_to_Report_Abuse/default.asp

Texas Department of Health and Human Services
http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/

Texas Elder Abuse and Mistreatment Institute (TEAM)
http://www.teaminstitute.org/
http://www.teaminstitute.org/faq.asp

Elder Options For Texas
http://www.elderoptionsoftexas.com/tbh_excerpts/elder_abuse.htm

National Center on Elder Abuse
http://www.elderabusecenter.org/

Don?t be shocked because calling these agencies will likely produce a
flurry of interest in your problem. Be persistent. Tell your story
over and over if you have to. Remember each time you speak to someone
new they do not know the details and will need to know the facts,. Be
patient and meticulous. Be sure you get ?names? and ?call back
numbers? from the people you talk to. If they assign ?case numbers? or
?complaint numbers? to your problem be sure to get those as well. This
will expedite and future calls if you have to call back.

Finally, if necessary, contact the assisted living facility (or have
an attroeny do it for you) and demand that they take IMMEDIATE
VERIFIABLE actions to protect your mother as provided by HUMAN
RESOURCES CODE CHAPTER 102. RIGHTS OF THE ELDERLY. You should remind
them that they are held accountable for your mother?s safety, privacy
and dignity under:

HUMAN RESOURCES CODE CHAPTER 102. RIGHTS OF THE ELDERLY
http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/txcodes/hr.006.00.000102.00.htm

You may have to threaten them with legal action if they fail to
provide you with some verifiable proof that they have taken every
measure necessary to protect you mother.

THIS is how one causes a firestorm when someone they love is in
jeopardy. Having been involved in similar law enforcement
investigations myself this is one of my greatest pet peeves for which
I tend to show no mercy. Remember, by addressing the original problem
you will draw attention to your own plight. I realize you are
suffering and are frustrated by the lack of interest in your miseries
but by holding the original problem out front to agencies that ARE
interested (and also very powerful) you too should be swept up into
the solution and hopefully find some relief of your own.

I hope you find that my answer exceeds your expectations. If you have
any questions about my research please post a clarification request
prior to rating the answer. Otherwise I welcome your rating and your
final comments and I look forward to working with you again in the
near future. Thank you for bringing your question to us.

Best regards;
Tutuzdad-ga ? Google Answers Researcher



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You need legal help.  Most states have a harassment statute and his
conduct would seem to fit most of them.  He is sick.  If and when he
calls any family members they should hang up on him - do not talk to
him it won't do any good.  If he keeps calling that's telephone
harassment - a crime.  Keep detailed records of his conduct.

 See  https://www.gavindebecker.com/home.cfm

I think you need to take out a restraining order on this guy ASAP.
Call his wife and say that if he doesn't stop immediately, you're
going to have him arrested for harassment. If she cares at all, that
should work.

Document all calls and then take out a restraining order on him for
your entire family.