A female friend of mine has always resisted joining my dungeons and
dragons group, despite my efforts to get her to join. She's an
actress, so I think she'd be a great player and have a great time, but
I think the magic, weapons, killing, etc. scares her off. Anyone have
recommendations for role-playing games that a less geeky type like her
might find accessible? Thanks a lot.

Maybe one of those murder mystery party games where your guests take
the roles of suspects or detectives in an investigation?

http://www.decipher.com/partyzone/howtohost/howtohostamurder/
http://www.murdermysterygames.com/cgi-bin/mystery_games/mystery_games.cgi?country=US

Have her play WoW.

Decipher's Lord of the Rings game is also a good candidate. Keeping in
the vein of JRR's work, magic is powerful, but not flashy (like D&D).
You don't see Gandalf in the movies or books casting fireballs, magic
missiles and the like. Yes, magic is powerful in Middle Earth, but
rare. True wizards are few and far between. When magic is used, it
taxes its caster considerably, so most who are capable of wielding
magic will often use it as a last resort.

And combat in this game tends to focus on fighting against non human
opponents (or at least, it seems to), like orcs, trolls, undead and so
on.

More info on the game can be found at http://www.decipher.com/lordoftherings/rpg/

Great system, by the way. Very smooth, and combat can be made to match
the group's expectations (heavy combat if they like it, or simplified
combat for those who prefer story to slaughter).