Hello, I'm looking for quotes from famous or nearly-famous Americans
similar to the following Bart Simpson quote:

"I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything."

I'd like 10 - 12 quotes with a similar theme.  The funnier, the better.

From the Broadway musical "Chicago":

"I didn't do it, but if I'd done it, 
 How could you tell me that I was wrong?"

One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing. Socrates

Thanks for the comments.  However, I'm looking more for quotes that
specifically try to decieve to shirk responsibility, like the Bart
quote.  :-)

  -Mike

How about these?

"Everything I do you blame on me." 
 - Source Unknown 

"Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers
nothing personal, your name just happened to come up."
 - Charles M. Schultz 

"The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone
else he can blame it on."
 - Robert Bloch 

"I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and
if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault
that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"
 - Yogi Berra 

"If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he
discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is to blame it on
Santa Claus."
 - Jack Handy 

Rainbow~

This may not be quite what you're looking for, but in the British
radio comedy "The Goon Show" the character of Major Dennis Bloodnok
has a number of quotes along these lines.  Two that I recall are
something like: "How dare you accuse me of having these naughty
postcards that aren't here!" and "She's lying!  And so are all the
other women I've molested!"
Information and scripts of the show can be found at:
http://www.thegoonshow.net/

I didn't inhale
...Bill Clinton

I have an alcohol problem
....Mark Foley


We were right, even if there aren't any weapons of mass destruction
...The entire Bush Administration