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Q: book on growing up, written before1963. It may be a novel ( Answered 5 out of 5 stars,   1 Comment )
Subject: book on growing up, written before1963. It may be a novel
Category: Miscellaneous
Asked by: dfl-ga
List Price: $50.00
Posted: 27 Oct 2002 10:35 PST
Expires: 26 Nov 2002 10:35 PST
Question ID: 90591
I want to find 4-5 paragraphs that begin "I will not say to you this
is the way". I believe the book is called "A girl grows up". This was
delivered at a high school graduation in Garden City, Kansas in 1962
or 1963.

Request for Question Clarification by bobbie7-ga on 27 Oct 2002 11:33 PST
Hello Dfl,

The book "A girl Grows Up" is out of print but I located a number of
places where they sell used copies of this book.

The prices run between $7.00 and $17.00

Would you be interested in the contact details of these book sellers,
because I was not able to locate excepts of the book (the 4 to 5
paragraphs you are asking for).

Please let me know.

Thank You


Request for Question Clarification by bobbie7-ga on 27 Oct 2002 18:18 PST
Hello again,

The books are available for online purchase and usually ship in 1 to 3 days.


Request for Question Clarification by bobbie7-ga on 30 Oct 2002 10:02 PST
Dear Dfl,

I believe the book " A Girl Grows Up" contains the paragraphs you are
looking for. Here is a short description of the book "A Girl Grows
Up." by Ruth Fedder.

A Girl Grows Up (Fourth Edition) by Ruth Fedder 
Fourth Edition Ex-Library. H Pictorial bds. Mc Graw Hill, NY (1957) 
Price: $11.20 
Usually ships in 2-3 days 
Condition: Good  
Synopsis: Advises the adolescent girl on physical and emotional growth
and shows how this approaching maturity may affect her social and
philosophical outlook.
Description: Good A great book for girls who do not want ready made
solutions to problems they face in growing up but a sense of direction
as they seek answers to their burning questions, mild wear,

Just press add to cart for purchase

Alibris Website

Please let me know.



Request for Question Clarification by rbnn-ga on 30 Oct 2002 15:30 PST
I saw nothing likely-looking in quick scan "A Girl Grows Up" by Ruth
Fedder (Mcgraw-Hill 1939).

If you have more information about the excerpt you are seeking, such
as either its topic or more phrases from it than the line you quoted,
this information would be helpful.
Subject: Re: book on growing up, written before1963. It may be a novel
Answered By: rbnn-ga on 30 Oct 2002 19:33 PST
Rated:5 out of 5 stars
Thank you for this interesting question.

The phrase you are seeking occurs in a poem quoted here at end of the
book (Chapter 9, "The Give and Take of Living" page 227).

A Girl Grows Up, by Ruth Fedder. (Whittlesey House, McGraw-Hill, New
York, 1939). Chapter 9, "The Give and Take of Living", page 227.

The book itself is interesting in the way that such books often are in
giving insight into the cultures and mores of quite a different time.
Nevertheless, some of the book's advice remains topical.

The full poem is given as:

I will not say to you, "This is the way, walk in it."
For I do not know your way or where the spirit may call you;
It may be to paths I have never trod or ships on the sea

 Leading to unimagined lands afar,
 Or haply, to a star!
 Or yet again
 Through dark and perilous places racked with pain
 And full of fear
 Your road may lead you far from me or near.
 I cannot guess or guide.
 But only stand aside.
 Just this I say:
 I know for every truth there is a way
 For each to walk, a right for each to choose,
 A truth to use.
 And, though you wander far, your soul will know
 That true path when you find it. Therefore, go!
 I will fear nothing for you day or night!
 I will not grieve at all because your light
 Is called by some new name---
 Truth is the same!
 It matters nought to call it star or sun,
 All light is one.

----End of poem (and of book)----
The author states in the Acknowledgements section of the book (ibid,
page xvi)

"The author regrets that it has been impossible to identify the author
of the poem at the close of the last chapter and that due credit,
cannot, therefore, be given."

I was also unable to locate any more information about this poem.

Sample advice in the final chapter includes the following topic

"If you would be a mature, happy, well-adjusted individual, you must
find a place for yourself in life."

"Recognize in yourself evidences of second-rate behavior..."

"Cultivate the ability to concentrate..."

"Most girls are ... groping for some method of deciding what they will
live by"

"...girls do not want anyone's ready-made opinions handed to them"

If you need any further detail about the book please use the "Request
Clarification" button to solicit it; I am happy to provide additional

I did not find that google helped very much here; certainly there were
no useful hits on the excerpt. Instead I googled for

"library of congress"

and title-searched their web site at: to get
possible titles of the book, of which the most likely seemed to be the
Fedder book. A quick search through standard used book sites, of which
I particularly recommend A Libris at , yielded
several copies for sale, and I acquired a copy thereby.

The book is also available from amazon, by the way; there have been at
least four editions, although of course I am quoting from the first

Initially I thought that it was a false lead, as a quick skim through
the book did not turn up your quote. Then, I happened to pick up the
book and noticed the line in the acknowledgments about the unknown
provenance of the poem. In curiousity I turned to the back of the book
and located the quotation you are seeking.
dfl-ga rated this answer:5 out of 5 stars

Subject: Re: book on growing up, written before1963. It may be a novel
From: stonehaven-ga on 30 Oct 2002 08:09 PST
Two possibilities, and I'm thinking that the second one is more likely
what you're seeking:

1.  _Adirondack Tales : A Girl Grows Up in the Adirondacks in the
1880s_ by Edna West Teall (reprint byAdirondack Life, 2001; ISBN
0-922595-20-8) with an introduction by Christine Jerome. See details
of Teall's book at The Book House of Stuyvesant Plaza ( )

2. _A Girl Grows Up_  by Ruth Fedder (Whittlesey House
(Mcgraw-Hill),1939; ISBN: 0-07020294-X), illus. Mary Magill -- :
"A look at what guidance counselors and parents were encouraged to
teach girls about becoming women in 1939, from self-confidence and
interpersonal relationships to going out with boys, drinking, and
deciding about a job."

Yes, the Fedder book (which I'd guess is the one you mean) is
rare/out-of-print, but you can find a copy at E.P. Waggener & Sons (
) -- they currently have two copies, priced at under seven dollars

Now, I know that you were hoping to find a specific quotation -- not
necessarily looking to shop for the whole book -- but I think that's
going to be tricky.

In case the text of this book had been entered into the databases of
any online "libraries" of works in the public domain, there are a lot
of public-domain E-text "libraries" -- a good list is at -- and many of
the databases offer full-text search functions as well as browsing by
author and/or title.

I have quickly checked the enormous Project Gutenberg ( ) database for you, and found neither Fedder's
nor Teall's _A Girl Grows Up_ there. That suggests that it could be a
long and probably fruitless search through similar e-text resources 
-- but who knows what other old favourites you might come across!

Good luck!

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