I am not able to get Outlook XP to sync with my exchange acct on a
satellite connection.

IMAP to the same server (same acct) works fine, but not MAPI.  That is
the only way I can sync my contacts.

The company hosting my exchange server says that MAPI doesn't work
over satellite connections due to the large latency involved.

Is it really true that out can't run MAPI over a Starband or DirectPC
connection?

Is a way to tell Outlook XP to use longer timeouts?

I would think this would not be the case. The latency involved with a
satellite connection, although high, is no higher than that of a dial
up modem, and even that should not time out for anything you would try
to use it with.