I am 23 yr old male of east indian background. I go to graduate school
in engineering. I have absolutely no idea as to what i want to do with
my life. I just don't know what is wrong with me. I have no interest
in anything at all. Or I think something is interesting and I lose
interest in a matter of weeks (even worse, days). The question is: Is
there anyway to find out what i want to do? How do other people find
what they want to do? (And sometimes amazingly, kids know what they
want to do. e.g. sport players tell often, 'when i was 6, i went to
play once, and then ever since i wanted to play this game')

These info abt me might be useful.
- I had taken numerous psychological and career tests, self-help
books. (Needless to say, it is of no use.)
- I think I am a person of reasonable intelligence.
- When i have had to make a decision to go college, some of the
choices i thought include: history, astronomy, philosophy, psychology,
computer sci, aeronatics, archeology and business.
- Am i thinking too much or too little? Or am i just being
super-critical of myself?
- I have had read a wide variety of literature - for e.g. from
hitchhiker's guide to galaxy to atlas shrugged
- Is this has something to do with my childhood (e.g., kids who are
not allowed to express their feelings supress their desires, that they
dont know about it to themselves?) Would feeling of unloved and/or
unwanted (perceived or real) might affect it? Does belief system has
something to do with it?
- I am not really interested in visiting a psychiatrist for i am not
convinced, he can tell me anything more? (maybe a hypnotist, but i am
not sure of the results or the lack of anonymity)
- Or am i just depressed all the time, looking at a gloomy fake world?
Maybe time to take anti-depressants?

I dont know if someone can answer these questions, but i am giving it
a try. I dont know how much $ to put on it either, but i dont
anticipate it as an issue, for i can change it if someone comes
forward to provide me an logical path to go get the answer within
myself.

And i honestly dont want 100 links to websites, just one (at max, 10)
would do. I expect  logical arguments rather than 'it is becoz i said
so..or people believe so...' Might be a highly recommended book or
something like that? or website? or just a one line wise saying? or a
cartoon? (what not?)

P.S. I understand the answers/comments that i may receive is from a
website's opinion or personal opinions and that i have the discretion
to use it or leave it at my own risk.

Thanks for reading. Dont hesistate to ask for clarifications. And as
you might have guessed, no time limits.

besides, i been reading google answers for a more than 5 months..Go
Google Answers!! You Rock :)

chndru...

This part of your question, in particular, made me want to answer:

"- Is this has something to do with my childhood (e.g., kids who are 
not allowed to express their feelings supress their desires, that they
dont know about it to themselves?) Would feeling of unloved and/or 
unwanted (perceived or real) might affect it? Does belief system has 
something to do with it?"

As someone who worked in the field of mental health for 20+ years,
I can certainly confirm your thoughts here. Additionally, I am
a graduate and teacher of a course called AvatarŪ, which is a
self-development course built on the concept that your beliefs
create your experiences, while most of us operate under the
principle that our experiences create our beliefs. Certainly our
childhood experiences can instill a huge number of beliefs, 
many of which are so taken-for-granted that in Avatar, they are
called 'transparent beliefs'. Fortunately, we are capable of
discovering, exploring and examining these beliefs to determine
if they are creating the experience we would prefer to have.
If they are not, the tools learned in AvatarŪ allow one to
easily change them.

The entire course is delivered in 3 sections, and confers the
ability to create and discreate beliefs at will. However, you 
can explore a great deal about yourself and your beliefs by
taking only Section I of the course, called ReSurfacing.

Additionally, you can obtain the materials for this part of the
course at a minimal cost. The AvatarŪ website is here:
http://www.avatarepc.com/

The materials for Section I of the course are the book
'Living Deliberately', by Harry Palmer, the author of the
AvatarŪ course, and the workbook 'ReSurfacing'. They cost
$15 each, or you can obtain them both by ordering the
'Power Package' for $25, from this page:
http://www.avatarepc.com/html/books.html

Another option would be to purchase the ReSurfacing workbook
for $15, and download the free .pdf file of the book
'Living Deliberately' from the link on this page:
http://www.avatarepc.com/html/eliving.html

You can explore these materials without taking Section I
of the course. After doing so, you may choose to take
the ReSurfacing workshop with a group, as you may find
this allows for more energy and insight in the process.


In addition to exploring the effect which your beliefs have
on your experiences, Exercise 27 (of 30) from ReSurfacing
specifically addresses how to determine 'right-for-you',
or RFY goals. This page from the website of Avatar masters
Bob West and Debbie Jamieson (an Avatar master is someone
licensed to deliver the course), quotes the text of the 
chapter in ReSurfacing which introduces the RFY Goal Setting
exercise:

"Setting a Right-For-You Goal (RFY goal) is done by using
 your best reasoning liberally seasoned with your intuition.
 It is reasonable, because you sincerely feel you can achieve
 it. It is intuitive, because it feels right. An RFY goal
 excites you when you think about it. It empowers you. It
 brings you to life. It sizzles! It provides you with the
 creative energy for its own attainment plus a little extra.
 Just imagining what it would feel like to achieve the RFY
 goal will tap into the courage and determination to
 accomplish it."

"If you wonder if your chosen goals are RFY goals, notice
 how you feel when you pursue them. Activity spent in the
 pursuit of an RFY goal is enjoyable and absorbing. Time
 is forgotten. Work is pleasurable. The pursuit of an RFY
 goal is its own reward."

"A non-RFY goal is something you "have to" do while waiting
 to get to what you want to do. You become exhausted and
 time drags. Work is grueling. The payoff for pursuing a
 non-RFY goal is stress."

More on the page:
http://www.avatarpath.com/rfygoals.html


The Goal Setting exercise itself is available in full
on the AvatarOverdrive website. This is a reprint of
a copy of the exercise which was published in the 
Avatar Journal, a free quarterly publication of 
Stars Edge International, the company which oversees
Avatar and its delivery:

Exercise 27: Goal Setting

OBJECTIVE: To determine a Right-For-You Goal.

EXPECTED RESULT:  A life plan that you can begin to follow
deliberately.
http://www.avataroverdrive.com/avatar_journal/vol14is2/exercise_27.htm


The Avatar Journal is being archived on both the 
Stars Edge site and the AvatarOverdrive site:

http://www.avatarepc.com/html/journal.html

http://www.avataroverdrive.com/avatar_journal/avatar_journal_archive.htm

...and you can explore many other exercises from
ReSurfacing which have been printed in the Journal,
as well as some very insightful and inspiring articles
by Harry Palmer and other Avatar graduates.

For example, here's an article from the archived Journals
by a master named Geofff Love, which outlines how he
utilizes his awareness regarding how beliefs affect
experience in his other vocation as a pro tennis coach:

"After eliminating the beliefs that were acting as a barrier
 to her succeeding, we worked on her technique. Then more
 beliefs about her technique came to the surface. " I can't
 do that," she continued. "I can't change sides that well."
 Was she explaining about her experience or was the experience
 created by her beliefs? "

"In the next moment she hit the key belief, "I don't like to
 keep score," she said. 'I don't like goal setting!'"

and...

"Now she is aware that what she believes does affect her
 playing ability. 
 As Harry says in the book Love Precious Humanity, 'Don't
 let who you are being get in the way of who you might
 become.'"

More on the page:
http://www.avataroverdrive.com/avatar_journal/vol15_1/tennis.htm


You can obtain a free subscription to the Journal here:
http://www.avatarepc.com/html/freejournal.html

If you decide to go ahead and take the ReSurfacing workshop,
or the entire AvatarŪ Course, you can locate a master in 
your area from this page on the Stars Edge website:
http://www.avatarepc.com/html/localmaster.html


To get started, read the page on RFY goals:
http://www.avatarpath.com/rfygoals.html

Then print out Exercise 27 from the ReSurfacing Workbook:
http://www.avataroverdrive.com/avatar_journal/vol14is2/exercise_27.htm

Set aside a fair amount of time to spend with the exercise,
and have fun with it. By all means, pay close attention to
your feelings as you explore potential goals.


Please do not rate this answer until you are satisfied that
the answer cannot be improved upon by means of a dialog
established through the "Request for Clarification" process.

sublime1-ga


Searches done, via Google:

avatar "goal setting
://www.google.com/search?q=avatar+%22goal+setting

avatar "right for you goals
://www.google.com/search?q=avatar+%22right+for+you+goals

---

Request for Answer Clarification by chndru-ga on 18 Jul 2003 12:07 PDT

hmm...sorry i was away from puter for a while. 
sublime, thanks for the answer and i went through it..and
unfortunately, i am not satisfied...one of the major part of the
poorly organized question was:
"How do other people find 
what they want to do? (And sometimes amazingly, kids know what they 
want to do. e.g. sport players tell often, 'when i was 6, i went to 
play once, and then ever since i wanted to play this game') "

can i get something more specific like a collection of real-people
stories along those lines?

nottooea, thanks for adding your comment..i loved the first part..it's
awesome..i am gonna try it :)

---

Clarification of Answer by sublime1-ga on 18 Jul 2003 18:39 PDT

chndru...

I must admit I'm confused that you mention the helpfulness of 
nottooea-ga's comment, yet state you are not satisfied with my
answer, which includes the Right-For-You Goal Setting Exercise
from ReSurfacing, which contains the same concept of looking
first at short-term goals:

Quote:

1. What do you want to achieve in the next year?

2. What do you want to own by the end of next year?

3. What would you like to do by the end of next year?

4. What excites you most?

5. What would you have to become to become to do what you want?

6. Where would you like to be in two years?

7. Where would you like to be in five years?

8.Where would you like to be in ten years?

9. Where would you like to be in twenty years?

10. Where would you like to be in fifty years?

Unquote
http://www.avataroverdrive.com/avatar_journal/vol14is2/exercise_27.htm


Also, since I've provided you with a perfectly useful
answer to the question in your question's heading, which
is considerably more extensive than a $5 question calls
for, I would respectfully suggest that you might be 
better served by asking a separate question on your 
current topic.

Google Answers pricing guidelines are discussed here:
http://answers.google.com/answers/pricing.html

On the other hand, if you simply aren't interested in
the answer I've provided, I can request the editors
to remove it, which will clear this question for 
others to answer. If this is done, your current 
clarification will be removed along with the answer,
so you might want to add it back after the fact, so
that other researchers will be better able than I 
was to discern your actual interest in asking the 
question.

I am personally not interested in (additionally)
researching the existence of stories of people 
who knew what they wanted to do from a very young 
age, since I don't believe these will assist anyone 
who hasn't had that experience to arrive at their 
own goals, whereas the suggestions I provided will
certainly do so.

Let me know your wishes, in light of the above.

sublime1-ga

---

Request for Answer Clarification by chndru-ga on 21 Jul 2003 21:41 PDT

hmm..maybe it is true that the question i asked is quite easily
mis-interpretable and is multi-faceted. I did really try to make
myself clear. alas!! the point i was trying to make hasn't been
conveyed. I perfectly understand that the answers you provided is
worth more than the small amount that is on the table.

In your last comment, you have shown that these bunch of questions
that need to be answered to know what i want to do. In perspective,
for those ten questions, i have no answers. That's why i wanted to ask
the question in the first place. Thinking back, i was looking for
answers like so and so factors affect what you want to do in
life..something like 5 or so factors that influence the decision
making process that everyone at some point of time goes through. That
is the reasoning behind me wanting to know how others decided theirs.

Hope this helps. And thanks for your efforts, which are highly
appreciated. And i dont want you to remove the answer you provided.
You ofcourse, made your effort. It could very well be the way, i had
put the question.

Thanks anyways, G'day

---

Clarification of Answer by sublime1-ga on 21 Jul 2003 22:51 PDT

chndru...

Thanks for your understanding. I will add that, if you find that
you have no answers for the questions in the Goal-Setting exercise,
bear in mind that this is Exercise 27 of 30 in the ReSurfacing
Workbook. While many people might be clear enough about themselves
as to be able to jump right into this exercise, the previous 26
exercises in ReSurfacing are specifically designed to assist you
in coming to know the beliefs, attitudes and judgements which 
have contributed to your current sense of self (or lack thereof),
and to begin the process of discarding those that don't serve
you or that limit your possibilities in a constricting way.
As a result of this, you arrive at Exercise 27 with a considerably
more precise sense of what your options really are and what kind
of experience you would prefer to have in life. Toward that end,
I believe it would be very much worth your while to invest $15
in the ReSurfacing Workbook, if not the Power Package for $25,
which includes Harry Palmer's 'Living Deliberately' - the story
of how he came to author the exercises in ReSurfacing and Avatar.
The links are available in my original answer.

Best wishes in your quest to discover your path.

sublime1-ga

practical, immediate advice:

http://www.youmeworks.com/doyouwanttodomore.html

I can understand what you're going through, I often wondered the same
thing and always been amazed by people who seem to know what they''re
destined for early in their lives.

Here are two things that have helped me, maybe they will help you too:

1. I stopped thinking about what I wanted to do for my entire life,
and broke it down into ideas about what I wanted to do in the next two
years, the next 5 years, etc., It was much easier to plan this way and
things did become clearer about what I enjoyed most/least in the
content of my work, my work environment, the type of people I wanted
to work with, etc., It was much less overwhelming than feeling that I
had to make a decision about my whole life when my curiousity extended
into so many areas. I also think it helped me avoid 'paralysis by
analysis'. Committing (to myself) that I would aim to pursue a
specific area from one of my interests for two years was not too
difficult. It gave me a good sense of what to do next and inner peace
replaced the turmoil.

2. You may have already come across this book, as you mentioned you
had already done quite a lot of research into this area. I did too,
and found "What color is your parachute?' the most helpful to me:

http://www.jobhuntersbible.com/intro/wciyp.shtml 

Good luck in your search!

Thats what I meant by original comment...

Was not about answer!

Was about question.....:(

Whatever...if this means anything or not...so be it....

this books was a really good read for me, with practical advice (and
loads of jobs to consider) too: http://www.1stbooks.com/bookview/17317

Hi there CHNDRU. Many young people have experienced the same feekings
as yourself, And I surmise you are young. Most " oldies" have accepted
what life dished out to them. My suggestion is to try as many basic
"occupations" as you can. For example, If you have the brains to make
it through to university, you know you are academically inclined, and
it would be wise to carry on to medical, law or commerce. Some achieve
all three, simply by continuing studies. If school is a struggle, get
into the workforce and tackle the trades. If you like the sea, tackle
the marine trades, and there are many. And always chase the necessary
qualifications to the limit of your ability. In my case I never made
uni. but can build a house, weld, do carpentry, drive any vehicle from
a motorbike to a semitrailer, and hold vessel certificates for small
craft to 82feet. I cannot defend anyone in law nor diagnose ill
health. I will never be a qualified accountant, but I can "do the
books". All this from " having a go at it". What was once my work is
now my hobby..on the water..So have a go at life and enjoy it.

I was interested in your comment:

"I have no interest in anything at all. Or I think something is
interesting and I lose interest in a matter of weeks (even worse,
days)".

Lack of interest in anything at all - a lack of capability to be
enthused by anything - is a well-known symptom of long-term
depresssion.  Does everyhing in life seem rather 'flat'?  Do you find
it hard to let yourself go and enjoy yourself?  You might think about
reading up on and investigating that angle.

Fix the depression, and you could find that the answer to comes to you
without too much difficulty.