What are the 12 to 15 biggest mistakes people make when they throw
adult birthday parties -- and how do you avoid them? I'd prefer
unusual ideas people can't find everywhere.

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Clarification of Question by curiously-ga on 21 Dec 2003 04:07 PST

These two comments are both good mistakes.  However, I'm looking for
12 to 15 mistakes.  Some mistakes about how people waste money (spend
too much unnecessarily) would also be good.

Hi curiously,

Complete Idiot's Guide to Throwing a Great Party by Sandra Linville-Thomas 
http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/3620/56279

"One of the party pitfalls listed in the book was about a hostess who
scheduled too many events during a birthday dinner for her husband.
The guests were held hostage in their seats during too many songs,
video shows, and toasts as well as a lengthy gift-opening session.
Don?t have too much going on, but a few toasts are in order for any
celebration."

Best regards,
tlspiegel

The worst mistake I can think of is to serve too much booze. I've been
to several parties that started out fun, but turned into drunken
disasters because the host and hostess were too generous with the
alcohol.

I don't have 12-15 for you, but here are a few based on personal
experience (unfortunately!) and they're free!

1. Over catering: Too much food is overwhelming for everyone. It looks
messy and gets wasted and it always looks as though you were expecting
more guests.It's worth getting advice on quantities from experienced
caterers.
2. Forgetting to feed the musicians: singing and playing guitar/drums
for a few hours makes you hungry! It's common courtesy and you'll end
up with a better performance from your appreciative musos.
3. Not storing food appropriately: it's absolutely imperative that
cold food is kept cold and hot food is kept hot, even when it's on the
buffet table. Think of all those tummy bugs that could have been
avoided if only the food had been handled properly!
4. Not having security in place: this is more for the young adults'
parties that get advertised on the net or by word of mouth. It is a
really good idea to have  some strategy in place to ensure that entry
is strictly upon presentation of the invitation and it's not
unrealistic these days to employ a couple of very experienced bouncers
who will quell any nastiness.
5. Not getting someone to 'catalogue' the pressies. Quite often, the
gift and the card get separated and so you end up not knowing who gave
a particular present. In order to write thank-you cards, it's
important to have someone with a pen and paper to write down who gave
what, as the presents are being opened.
6. Getting hired help to serve food and help clean up. Undoubtedly the
best money I ever spent on a party was paying to get help. I'll never
have a party without hired help again. I actually got time to have
fun!
6. Serve appropriate drinks and foods for the people you've invited.
If you have invited some vegetarians, then serve some vegetarian food.
If you have invited young kids, have food and drinks appropriate to
them. Serve plenty of alternatives to alcohol. There'll be plenty of
'Designated Drivers' or dieters or people with alcohol issues who will
want something other than booze. Anyway, it's the responsible thing to
do whoever is drinking.

Thanks stressedmum!  Great comments.

Is this a surprise birthday party or a party that the birthday boy or
girl knows about?

I have found the people giving the party (whether surpise or not) make
the following mistakes

1. Plans a birthday party as if its a theme party.
2. Holds the birthday party in a private home.
3. Invites too many people\including people honoree doesn't like.
4. Attempts to produce a first time menu that is too complicated and
eventually proves to be too expensive. /buys to much liquor and not
enough coffee.
5. Hires a friend (not a professional caterer)to cater the party.
Friend says they can do this and don't worry. Don't believe them. Nail
down every aspect of the work they are to do for you with a signed
contract.

6. Doesn't begin planning early enough and must purchase everything at top price.
7. Allows party to last too long.

8. Novice party givers often don't negotiate a reasonable contract
with cater staff-who should not necessarily be the clean up staff.
It's cheaper to have clean up staff come at 7:30 am Monday morning,
rather then 9:00pm Sunday night.

9. Take into consideration the costs to your friends to come to your
party (parking and baby sitters)

10. Understand that less can be more in almost every respect when
planning a party for someone else. Don't let your enthusiasm or
creativity run amok!

Birthday parties should be good parties not unlike your normal party
except it has a special honoree. Good food, good wine and good
conversation with intimate friends can't be beat!

I appreciate all these comments.  Thanks!