I have two DCPs, one upstairs and one down. The one downstairs is
about 2 years' old.

Some six months ago, the upstairs one started CHIRPING for no apparent
reason, so it was replaced.

Two days ago, my downstairs DCP started doing the same thing.

On both occasions, everything seemed to be OK (all the lights and the
battery appear OK) but I am still getting these irritating chirps.

Several thoughts have occurred to me ...

Am I being monitored (again) by the Men in Black Suits? But, even
though this is highly likely, why the chirps ... unless they are
trying to drive me mad?

Does it need a good soaking in WD40?

Or would bird seed help?

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Request for Question Clarification by aht-ga on 06 Jan 2004 22:21 PST

probonopublico-ga:

When you say chirp, do you mean it's coming from the earpiece when you
use the phone? Or do you mean when the phone is just sitting there?

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Clarification of Question by probonopublico-ga on 06 Jan 2004 23:16 PST

Hi, aht

Many thanks for your interest.

It happens when the phone is just sitting there.

Well, it was chirping away before I took Daisy for a walk but it's
been quiet since we came back.

Is this one of the marvels of remote diagnostics, I ask myself?

If so, many thanks!

Bryan

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Request for Question Clarification by aht-ga on 06 Jan 2004 23:34 PST

it wouldn't happen to be one of those phones with a 'page' function
(usually used to find a misplaced handset), would it? Where, when you
press the 'page' button on the base station, the handset will start
going "beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep...(you get
the idea)" so that you go batty while looking for it. You wouldn't
happen to live near any neighbours with the same model phone? :) That
would be some practical joke, wouldn't it?

aht-ga

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Clarification of Question by probonopublico-ga on 07 Jan 2004 04:19 PST

Hi, Again, aht

It's not the Pager function that's for sure ... it's a totally different noise.

Again, I don't suspect any of my neighbours from fooling around ...
nobody in this neck of the woods gets up as early as me & Daisy, and
Daisy does so without great relish.

It's stopped now ...

I am inclined to think that it is battery related but I can't figure
why it happens intermittantly.

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Request for Question Clarification by aht-ga on 07 Jan 2004 08:52 PST

it probably wouldn't hurt to get some rubbing alcohol, and clean the
charging contacts on the base station and the handset. Oxidation can
build up, and depending on whether you normally leave the handset on
the charger or not, that oxidation can interfere with the contacts.

---

Clarification of Question by probonopublico-ga on 07 Jan 2004 11:45 PST

Hi, Again, aht

Many thanks for your further RQC.

Maybe you're right but, as the chirping's not happening at present, I
am going to leave well alone.

If it returns ... then that's a different story.

Bryan

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Clarification of Question by probonopublico-ga on 25 Jan 2004 03:48 PST

Hi, aht

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

Yes ... I've solved the problem ... It was Daisy's paramour, the
Seagull. He's quite a tease and, unbeknown to me, he had learned the
art of ventriloquism ...

So, problem solved and we're having roast seagull with hoisin sauce
for dinner tonight.

Many thanks for all your hard wok (Did I say wok?) I meant work, and
post this - the correct solution - as your answer.

Bryan

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Clarification of Question by probonopublico-ga on 25 Jan 2004 03:55 PST

WOW!

15 days of celebration!

That's the way to do it!

GHFC

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Request for Question Clarification by aht-ga on 25 Jan 2004 18:57 PST

probonopublico-ga:

I hope that your meal of roast seagull proved delectable. One concern,
though; normally, squabs (pigeons) used for food are raised in
captivity to ensure that they do not contain too many toxins. Every
seagull I've ever seen (and I've lived all my life in locations by
large bodies of water, so I've seen way too many seagulls) tends to
eat anything and everything toxic. So, if you or Daisy begin to give
off a glow at night, I'd suspect the seagull!

I respect your request that I post an Answer to help close this
question; however, my pride in my work, and my desire for continued
association with this service, prevent me from claiming to have
provided an Answer to your Question. After all, neither I nor any of
my fellow Researchers mentioned the possibility of a seagull in any of
our prior postings! If, however, the resolution came via means of a
new battery, then I could indeed claim "the prize".

In view of your regular patronage of Google Answers, perhaps it would
be best if you simply expired this question. I'm sure there will be
many more opportunities for Researchers such as myself to provide
delightful Answers to earn your listed price.

Best regards,

aht-ga
Google Answers Researcher

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Clarification of Question by probonopublico-ga on 25 Jan 2004 21:17 PST

Dear aht

Above everything else, you are an asbolute gentleman.

Many thanks for your interest & helpful suggestions.

Warmest regards

Bryan

I sent a telepathic message to your phone telling it that it had
better shut up, or Daisy will eat it.

If it should chirp again, tell Miss Daisy you have a nice fat bone for her...

Bryan,

I had the same thing happen with one of my phones (a VTech if you're
curious) and I discovered that it was due to the fact that the battery
could no longer hold a charge. This happens most often when you always
place the handset on the charger (whenever its not in use). To
optimize the use of the battery, only place it on the charger or after
you have used it for a considerable amount of time - I find 4-5 hours
of talk time is a good benchmark for putting it back on the charger.

Hope that helps :)

answerguru-ga

Hmmmm...a British telephone making annoying bird like noises! I know!
Buzby is haunting you for not paying that telephone bill back in 1979!

"Who was Buzby? 

Buzby, the multi-coloured bird, was the hero of a long running British
Post Office Telephones publicity drive during the late 1970's to early
1980's. He appeared in a series of television commercials where his
punch line was "Make Someone Happy"
The television commercials featured the British character actor
Bernard Cribbens as Buzby's voice.
There was an extensive poster and billboard promotion of which the
above are just a small part.
 The campaign attracted a great deal of publicity at the time, with
the public either loving Buzby (The majority) or loathing him (The
minority)."
http://www.theoldtelephone.co.uk/Buzby.htm

pinkfreud said:
"If it should chirp again, tell Miss Daisy you have a nice fat bone for her..."

Does that make his telephone a "telling bone"?

Catweazle 
"Episode Seven - The Telling Bone  [29/3/70] 
?Come, telling bone, whisper to me all the magic of this strange time.?

After being talked down from the church spire, Catweazle is befriended
by the local vicar. He attempts to send him back to Hexwood farm, but
the sorcerer is far more interested in the vicar?s magical device for
conjuring voices from the air"
http://www.zetaminor.com/cult/catweazle/catweazleeg1.htm

Hi, Pink One

Many thanks for the telepathic message. I shall be sending you one
shortly ... on the usual frequency. Please let me know by conventional
means what time your plane is scheduled to arrive, my driver will be
waiting.

Hi, Answerfinder

Yes ... I certainly think that it's battery-related. I always replace
the handsets whenever I finish a call. It has never occurred to me not
to. I shall have to shop around for a replacement battery ... Just in
case.

Hi, thx1138

I think we can rule out Buzby because BT is not my service provider.

Many thanks for your further comment, thx1138, which apparently crossed with mine.

I do believe that it's stopped chirping ...

Oh I do hope so.

Have you considered the possibility that the chirping noise is NOT from the phone?

Try constructing a helmet from aluminum foil (heavy duty is best) and
wear it AT ALL TIMES.  One for Daisy is also advised.

You may find the chirping will stop.   

At least, it worked for me.



paf

about the battery life issue... it's funny, from a technical point of
view, it is always better to not replace the handset in the charger
after every call... yet, I do it out of habit, and every single
cordless phone I own/have ever owned has always had great battery life
(seven years in the case of one!) in spite of it! I've tried to look
at my calling patterns (mostly short, ten minute conversations, some
long drawn-out ones), frequency (scattered throughout the evenings,
punctuated by irate ten- to fifteen second tirades around dinner time
when the telemarketers call and I don't feel like letting my computer
automatically zap them for me), and environment... nothing that would
indicate anything special. And yet, the batteries just keep going and
going... and no, I do not see any Energizer bunnies rolling around my
home!

aht-ga

My two V-Tech cordless phones chirp whenever power to the base unit is
interrupted and stop chirping when power is restored.  However, if you
have a dial tone along with your chirps and if the lights on the base
unit are working, a electrical problem (loose plug, e.g.) presumably
wouldn't be the cause.

Hi, Paf

Great to hear from you again.

Rest assured, I always wear a foil helmet, except when I am drunk when
it has been known to fall off.

However, mine is made from 48 carat gold. 

What else?

Bryan

It's started again.

I am now going downstairs ....

I now believe it's haunted.

Stephen King, are you listening?

did you use that phone much today? If it's on the charger, is the charge light on?

Hi, aht

No, I've not used the phone much recently and I have left it on charge
all the time.

I have just taken it off the charger and, after an initial protest
chirp, it has stayed silent.

I also had a look at the battery. It doesn't look as though it was
ever intended to be replaced. There are two small cells, side by side,
shrouded in a plastic cover and the leads are inside the plastic.

I shall leave it off charge for a while, and see.

Thanks

That's a typical design for a cordless phone battery. The other ends
of the leads should be a little black or white plastic connector; the
replacement battery will have a similar connector on it.

aht-ga

Here's a site that leads to half-decent pictures of the replaceable
batteries for many different models of phones, so that you can see
what the battery should look like in the store (if you decide to go
buy a replacement).

http://www.batterybarn.com/cordless.html

aht-ga

Hi, Again, Aht

The phone is still off the charger and still chirpless.

I guess that I have too many phones in the house. As well as the 2
cordless, I have a conventional phone that I use most of the time.

I shall now get into the habit of not automatically putting the things on charge.

Many thanks for your great insights and the great link to the battery site.

If you would now like to post an answer, please do it QUICKLY before
one of the damn things starts chirping again.

Bryan

I left it off the charger for HOURS but shortly after I replaced it,
it started again.

I guess I'll have to get a new battery.

OK, now I'm REALLY intrigued by this (it's the unsuppressable engineer
side of me speaking... I *hate* not being able to find a technical
reason for why a piece of technology acts up). May I ask what make and
model of phone you have?

For the chirping to start AFTER you replace the handset on the
charger, it implies either a heat-related fault in the battery
(typically, the 'low-battery' chirping is triggered by either a
low-voltage level, or for really fancy units, a voltage decay rate
that exceeds a certain threshold). If indeed it's the low-battery
chirp that is going off sporadically, then if it were my phone, I'd
clean the charging contacts with a good stiff eraser followed by
rubbing alcohol, and I would unplug the battery lead and plug it back
in again to reseat it. If the sporadic chirping STILL happened, then
I'd buy a new battery.

This is almost as bad as when a battery-powered smoke detector's
battery is running low, causing the smoke detector to randomly squawk
for attention.

No answer will be posted until the root cause is found! (Or at least
squashed into submission by a new battery... we hope!).

Regards,

aht-ga

Hi, Again, Aht

Many thanks for your further comment.

According to my cleaner, the damn thing has been chirping away all
morning even though it wasn't on the charger.

The phone is a Cable & Wireless CWD 2500 and the battery seems a puny
thing compared with some.

There are two cylindrical NI-MH cells measuring 1½" by 5/8" dia.

They are rated at 2.4v and 550mAh.

I haven't tried cleaning the contacts yet but I will ... 

BTW I live in the UK.

Bryan

Correction.

The diameter of the cells is 3/8", not 5/8".