I would like some jokes about being a University President.
For Example:
Being a university President is like being the director
of a cemetery: everyone is under you but no one is listening

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Clarification of Question by gordonbeets-ga on 14 Apr 2004 05:30 PDT

bobbie7 
You are on the right track - I guess I would like a few more options -
maybe I should not have been quite a specific as "Being a University
President is like" I should have been more general with just jokes
about University Presidents.

Dear Gordonbeets,

Thank you for accepting my comments as the official answer to your question.

I am reposting the jokes below for your convenience.

-------------------------------------------------------------


After-dinner remarks by  Sir John Daniel

?A university president is like the centre post in a washing machine.
You're often in hot water, there's lots of agitation, you deal with
much dirty linen, much of the output goes down the drain before you
throw in the towel.?

British North American Committee
http://www.open.ac.uk/vcs-speeches/BNAC.htm



?President James Duderstadt says that being a university president is
like playing the role of a frontier sheriff.
"You are like a sheriff in an old western movie that every morning
drags himself out of bed and straps the guns on again," he said.
"You've got to be the first one on the battle line."
Sometimes the fights can get tough.
"From time to time, you'll get wounded," Duderstadt said.?
http://www.pub.umich.edu/daily/1996/apr/04-23-96/dude/diversity.html



William Brody,President, Johns Hopkins University

?Being a university president is like being a bee. You fly from flower
to flower and you take a little sip of the nectar and then you have to
move on to the next flower and if it's really interesting, you still
have to move on to the next flower and if it doesn't taste well, well,
fortunately, you get to move on to the next flower.?

Ideastream
http://www.wcpn.org/qc/transcripts/universities.html



?The basketball coach stormed into the office of the university
president and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please,"
protested the college president, "you already make more than the
entire History Department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I
have to put up with," the coach said. "Watch." The coach went out into
the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging by. "Run over to my office
and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock
returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he
reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President,
scratching his head. "I would have phoned."
http://www.kenston.k12.oh.us/khs/just4fun/joke_1_13_04.htm



Here is a humorous quotation.

?I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave
a prospective commencement speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at
an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have the party, but
no one expects you to say very much."
- Anthony Lake
http://www.basicjokes.com/dquotes.php?cid=52


Best regards,
Bobbie7

I was very pleased with the timeliness of the response and the
willingness to refine the answer based on further comments.

Being a university president is like herding cats.

Hi Gordonbeets!

Here are a few to choose from:

After-dinner remarks by  Sir John Daniel

?A university president is like the centre post in a washing machine.
You're often in hot water, there's lots of agitation, you deal with
much dirty linen, much of the output goes down the drain before you
throw in the towel.?

British North American Committee
http://www.open.ac.uk/vcs-speeches/BNAC.htm


?President James Duderstadt says that being a university president is
like playing the role of a frontier sheriff.
"You are like a sheriff in an old western movie that every morning
drags himself out of bed and straps the guns on again," he said.
"You've got to be the first one on the battle line."
Sometimes the fights can get tough.
"From time to time, you'll get wounded," Duderstadt said.?
http://www.pub.umich.edu/daily/1996/apr/04-23-96/dude/diversity.html



William Brody,President, Johns Hopkins University

?Being a university president is like being a bee. You fly from flower
to flower and you take a little sip of the nectar and then you have to
move on to the next flower and if it's really interesting, you still
have to move on to the next flower and if it doesn't taste well, well,
fortunately, you get to move on to the next flower.?

Ideastream
http://www.wcpn.org/qc/transcripts/universities.html

If this is what you had in mind, just let me know and I will post it
as the offical answer.

Thanks,
Bobbie7

Hi Gordonbeets!

Here?s another joke:


?The basketball coach stormed into the office of the university
president and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please,"
protested the college president, "you already make more than the
entire History Department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I
have to put up with," the coach said. "Watch." The coach went out into
the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging by. "Run over to my office
and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock
returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he
reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President,
scratching his head. "I would have phoned."
http://www.kenston.k12.oh.us/khs/just4fun/joke_1_13_04.htm

Would the above joke and the ones that I posted previously be an
acceptable answer to your question or do you need additional jokes?


Thanks,
Bobbie7

Gordonbeets,

Here is a humorous quotation.

?I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave
a prospective commencement speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at
an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have the party, but
no one expects you to say very much."
- Anthony Lake
http://www.basicjokes.com/dquotes.php?cid=52

--Bobbie7

Bobbie7
Thank you - I don't know how to tell you to post your material as an
answer except through this comment.
Gordonbeets