"...I'm not afraid to use it."

This line has been used to humorous effect, but my aging brain cells
cannot recall its original context.  I think it was an action movie,
and the villain, who is getting the upperhand on the hero, is
threatened by the heroine with this line.  (I believe it turns out she
is too afraid to use the weapon effectively, but somehow the momentary
distraction turns the tide.)

Please, pinkfreud, recall for me my lost (suppressed?) memories &
soothe my anxieties...

deepest,
mathtalk-ga

Dearest MT,

Sometimes a Google search can become an obsession.

Yesterday, today, and even as I slept, I have tried to track down a
filmic source for the line "I've got a gun and I'm not afraid to use
it" (or variants such as "I have a gun and I know how to use it.")

While I found umpty-jillion references to the line, not one was from
anything resembling an original source such as a classic film noir, an
old radio drama, or a Sam Spade-type hard-boiled detective novel (or
even a Nero Wolfe-type deep-fat-fried detective novel). Doggone it, I
was hoping for Dashiell Hammett or Raymond Chandler. Woulda settled
for Mickey Spillane. But, as far as old sources go, I came up with
zilch. El zippo. Diddly. Zeroni. Bupkis. Nada. To sum up, I got plenty
o' nuttin'.

It is my belief that "I've got a gun and I'm not afraid to use it" is
a recent coinage that *sounds* like a line from an old movie, but
isn't. Rather, it is a condensation of the sort of stereotypical
utterances that one associates with vintage melodramas of the Bogart
ilk. Campbell's Cream of Mock Cliché. Mmmm-mmmm good.

This reminds me very much of another frequently-satirized quote whose
true origins seems to be unknowable: "One move and the [blank] gets
it." The most famous takeoff on this was in Mel Brooks' "Blazing
Saddles," which is (in my estimation) one of the funniest movies of
all time. Don't nobody wanna argue with me about this: that would be
opening a big can of beans.

I've gathered a bouquet of recent riffs on the "I've got a gun" line:

"She's got legs, she knows how to use them."

~ZZ Top 

"Nobody move. I've got a dragon, and I'm not afraid to use it. I'm a
donkey on the edge."

~Donkey, in "Shrek"

"I have a biscotti and I'm not afraid to use it!"

~PJ Pete, in "An Extremely Goofy Movie"

"Got a knife and I know how to use it, got a knife and I know that he?s to blame."

~Rock group "My Red Cell"

"I have a mitt, and I'm not afraid to use it."

~Jeff Goldblum, in "Cats & Dogs" 

"Take for example, telemarketers, probably more feared and disliked
than even the grungiest of bikers. Picture this: An anonymous voice
calls your home at an inconvenient time, trying to convince you to buy
an unwanted product. As soon as you realize that you have been
victimized by the 'random dialing telemarketer'. You can quickly end
the conversation by immediately informing them 'I have a Harley and I
know how to use it.' It will only be a matter of seconds before you
hear dial tone. Problem solved."

VirginiaWind
http://www.virginiawind.com/backseat/2002_06.asp

"Wow! How perfect is this for me to say: I've got a banana, and I'm
not afraid to use it!"

Dave Barry's Blog
http://weblog.herald.com/column/davebarry/archives/013150.html

"I suggest that you do not mess around with me Sir. I have a
wheelbarrow and I know how to use it!"

Greenspun: Mindless Prattle
http://www.greenspun.com/bboard/q-and-a-fetch-msg.tcl?msg_id=00AibW

"Jacob is a joyous child with a great sense of humor. Several weeks
ago he spied a bug on the floor of the den, grabbed a shoe and
proclaimed, "I have a shoe and I?m not afraid to use it!"

Zero to Three: Jacob's Story
http://www.zerotothree.org/jacob.html

"Careful!!! Don't come any closer! I have a thesaurus and I know how
to use it! I can dress you down five ways to Sunday in iambic
pentameter if I have to!"

Hellblazer
http://www.hellblazer.com/archives/002132.html

"Shrimp don't scare me none. I've got batter and a Frybaby and I'm not
afraid to use them."

9622.net Archives
http://www.9622.net/archives/000806.html

...I could go on and on, but won't.

Google search strategy:

Google Web Search: "a * and I'm not afraid to use"
://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=%22a+*+and+I%27m+not+afraid+to+use

Google Web Search: "a * and I know how to use"
://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=%22a+*+and+I+know+how+to+use

Many thanks to you for having asked this fascinating and frustrating
question, and having earmarked it for me. I hope I have tweaked its
ears thoroughly enough. Ears... Hmmm. Oh dear, now I can't help
thinking about "Shrek" and its sequel. Ogre and ogre again... ;-)

Your pal,
Pink ("I've got a pun and I'm not afraid to abuse it.")

Thanks, Pink.  It does from your research that this is a fairly modern
line, hence the spate of fairly modern riffs.  Your efforts are
greatly appreciated!

--mt

MT,

Many thanks for the five stars and the ten bonus simoleons, and for
providing an interesting rack upon which to stretch my brain.

Pink

I had originally thought it might be the original Arthur, where Dudley
Moore is speaking with the Linda's next door neighbor and she says,"My
husband has a gun", to which he replies, I'm sure he does, and for all
I know he shot it while you were shouting".

But the line doesn't match. Of course we can thank that movie for some
of the best one liners ever smashed into one two hour film. My
favorite is still Burt Johnson saying,"I don't drink Arthur, no one in
my family drinks" To which Arthur replies,"thas great, you must never
run out of ice".

I also thought it might be from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. When Ed
Rooney is in the house looking for Ferris, he encounters Jeannie who
is also looking for Ferris. After calling the police she says,"
Whoever is in the house, or still in the house, I'd like you to know
that I've just called the police!  So if you have any brains
whatsoever, you'll get your ass out of my house real quick.  I'd also
like to add that I have my father's gun and a scorching case of
herpes"


Third useless side note, Simpsons Hit and Run contains the repeated
line as Homer drives around,"I've got road rage and I'm not afraid to
use it".

I'm glad I was unable to be of any assistance other then to display
the un-natural way my brain works. Enjoy the useless factoids.

Mother911-ga

Hi, pinkfreud-ga:

Please forgive the unwarranted rattling of old threads, but I'm doing
an experiment with GA support for Unicode (this is a post from
Mozilla):

The proper translation would be Jian Shi Zi, and the Chinese characters are: 
???.

regards, mt

Mathy,

In Internet Explorer, I see the Chinese characters that you posted as
three little squares. Unless this is the Chinese symbol for the
Andrews Sisters, I suspect that your experiment didn't work.

Best,
Pinky

Ah, that's because you haven't installed the Windows font support for
Chinese yet!  Google Answers is serving up the Unicode characters at
its end.

If you have your Windows install disk handy (possibly because you had
the foresight to copy the i386 directory to your hard disk and do the
installation from there?), then you can go (in Internet Explorer) to:

  View --> Encoding --> More --> Chinese Traditional

and you'll be asked if you want to add the font.  

best wishes,
mathtalk-ga

Hi, Pink:

Subjecting you to yet another of my depraved character set experiments...

Let's see what ∪ looks like.

--MT

Okay, that didn't work correctly... how about  ? ??

The Chinese characters aren't working for me. :-(