I'm in my twenties and I've always been afraid to swear -- I can think
swear words, and say them if I'm alone, but I just can't say them
around other people -- I just won't let myself.  My parents didn't
swear and they did forbid me from swearing, but I'm sure lots of
parents do that.  I really want to understand why I'm this way and be
able to swear if I want to and it's appropriate.  Are there other
people who experience the same thing?  Searches for "fear of swearing"
and "fear of cursing" turned up nothing relevant.  Any ideas?

I know many people who express themselves quite eloquently without
using profane or obscene language. I know others who pepper nearly
every utterance with words that would make a sailor blush. The former
are generally more impressive and more interesting speakers than the
latter.

It's nothing to worry about.

Just the opposite, if you have never felt the need to swear this is
because you can express yourself articulately without resorting to
profanities.

I had to swear a Statutory Declaration last week IN FRONT OF A LAWYER
would you believe?

He then relieved me of £5.

I don't know whether he put it in his Swear Box or not.

I am still red from embarrassment.

Or, of course, it could be the sun.

It's blazing hot here in the UK where I live.

It's enough to make a pig swear.

It may sound strange, but this not meant to be a joke: Have you ever
considered using swear words in a foreign language? No one around you
would understand what they mean, but nevertheless you'd surely feel
relieved because you know you have been swearing.

According to my experience, German is the perfect language for
swearing and cursing.

Regards,
Scriptor

Seems to me like you're well educated, and should thank your parents. 

I agree with PinkFreud and would add, that there's nothing wrong in
"not being able to swear". I don't remember who it was, but one of my
colleagues here at Google Answer once told me that they had a coworker
who would mutter to himslef, after hearing "strong language" from
their customers, "Well, I'm sorry that you're like that".

So, if you're concerned about not being able to respond to people who
speak in less-than-nicer-terms with you, I still think that profanity
is not the answer.

I enjoyed those supportive and amusing comments.  However, the feeling
I have is like that of the "reformed" Alex in A Clockwork Orange --
it's a fear, not just a disinclination, to swear.  I feel especially
awkward when relating a comment someone else made that includes
profanity, because even then I have to bowdlerize the words used.

It sounds to me like you are a person of high moral character who
feels unnecessarily pressured by his or her peers to debase himself
for the purposes of momentary acceptance. Is it EVER "appropriate" to
swear? Most people don't think so and haven't for hundreds, if not
thousands of years:

"The foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing is a
vice so mean and low that every person of sense and character detests
and despises it."
-- George Washington  

Just my personal observation;
tutuzdad-ga

"Most people don't think so and haven't for hundreds, if not
thousands of years"

Actually many swear words are among the oldest words in the English
language. And it was not until relatively recently that they were
considered to be objectionable. In the middle ages blasphemy was
considered much more profane than what we today think of as "swear
words".

I use swear words when I consider it appropriate to do so, but I do
hate to hear people swearing too much, and I hate it when people
cannot express themselves any other way. I like the old saying: "Swear
words should be used as exclamation marks, not commas."

I think we do have to remember, though, that no matter how much
"emotional baggage" swear words may carry, they are only words and
should not be taken too seriously. It amuses me to see how much energy
some people put into keeping profanity off TV while images of death
and violence are commonplace on the nightly news.

I would like to know from sidesway what sort of company you keep. By
that I mean do your friends and co-workers swear or do they consider
it objectionable? I think that the people you're exposed to have just
as big an impact on your vocabulary as your parents. I must admit that
it wasn't until I was in my teens that I started using profanity
freely, when I got a new group of friends who swore quite freely. But
even now I am in my late twenties I wouldn't dream of swearing in
front of my parents!

Just remember that swear words are nothing to be ashamed of (and as
you're obviously an articulate user of English you're never going to
be thought of as uncouth for using the occasional one.)

One last question: is your fear of profanity restricted to profanity
or does it extend to the milder curses ("damn", "hell" etc...) as
well?

Despite what has been said above ("I use swear words when I consider
it appropriate to do so...swear words are nothing to be ashamed
of..."), swear word are NEVER appropriate and the are not ok to use -
that's why it's called **FOUL LANGUAGE** and not "alternative"
language.

As for the comment about the old saying: "Swear words should be used
as exclamation marks, not commas"...never heard of it before. It has
no supportive origin and it sounds to me more like a concocted adadge
designed to help bolster the this futile argument. There is an old
adadge though that says "You are what you eat". It would better suit
this topic if one said, "You are what you SAY". If one talks dirty, he
should not be surprised if others treat him as, or look upon him like
dirt. No one of any measureable character would believe the notion
that swear words SHOULD be used as exclamation marks, because swear
words should not be used AT ALL...It makes perfect sense to me.

Hi sidesway,
Overcoming your fear of swearing should not be substantially different
from overcoming other fears. Imagine that instead of a fear of
swearing you had a fear of spiders. One way to treat this is gradual,
increased exposure. You might first be asked to just imagine a spider,
then talked through relaxation exercises until you feel calm. The next
step might be to look at a picture of a spider, then a plastic spider,
and so forth until you could encounter a real spider without anxiety.

Your fear could be overcome the same way. A first step could be using
these words more frequently when by yourself until they come
automatically. Then, pick the person that you feel least uncomfortable
swearing around. When you wish to use a swear word use a close
substitute (ship, fudge, dam). If you say it fast and emphatically the
other person will probably not even notice that it's a substitute.
Once you feel safe doing this, start using one "real" swear word (I
would suggest "d..mn" as it is most like "dam" and generally less
offensive than others). Then gradually switch the other substitutes to
the real thing in front of just this one person. Once you are
comfortable with that, start the same process with another person,
then another, until finally you are able to use the words you wish,
when you wish, even if they are swear words.

If you want a deeper understanding of your fear, I would suggest that
you think about it a bit more. The fact that you are comfortable
swearing when you're alone indicates that it is not the words
themselves that is causing your fear/anxiety. Rather, it is how you
imagine the words might be perceived. You obviously associate swear
words with strong parental disapproval, and while other people have
the same experience (as you point out), it could be that you are more
sensitive and/or more strongly influenced than others. I think that
your fear is not unreasonable. After all, I would imagine that most
people would not even think of using a swear word in front of the
President (regardless of what they think of him politically).
Likewise, they would not do so in front of their doctors, teachers,
etc. as they would want to be sure not to cause offense. After all,
swear words ARE offensive words, but of course it depends on the
audience.

alex_p

"swear word are NEVER appropriate and the are not ok to use"

Sorry, mother, I didn't know you visited this site.

If I were you I'de be happy that such a thing has been instilled in
your mind. Swearing is simply bad manners/and never appropriate in any
instance.
Im the same way, I don't cuss around others because I was raised it was wrong.

Just be happy you are able to restrain yourself from doing it without
even trying. Not only that there are no curse words that are proper
english, why would you want to use vocabulary that is not correct?

My advice is to be glad you don't use foul lingo, and if you have
kids, to do the same for them. <><

ThanX http://www.livingwaters.com

Well put Answersguy-ga. BTW, would you be either RC or KC by chance?

Actually, tutuzdad-ga, with one or two exceptions, "foul" words have,
at some time in their existance been considered perfectly normal words
to use in polite every day conversation.  One notable exception is the
infamous "F-word" whose use has been considered vulgar and even
shocking almost since it's first use.  In contrast, the "A-word"
-without 'hole' at the end- and "B-word" still have perfectly
acceptable uses in the English language, as they both describe,
coincidently, types of animal.  This fact lies at the root of them
becoming "foul" words, when used to describe another human, though I
can't think of a single animal to which a person could be kindly
compared.

As for your fear of these words, sidesway-ga, I wouldn't worry about
it.  Speech is simply about conveying your ideas to others, and an
unwillingness to swear doesn't reduce your ability to do so, nor
-contrary to the opinions of a few here- does it make it any better. 
My grandfather earned himself 4 PHDs in his lifetime and could explain
complex nuclear physics to me using the foulest language you can
imagine, while my 8th grade Math teacher, for all his eloquent
language, could not comunicate the ideas behind simple algebra.

Point being, if you feel the most effective way of communicating a
particular idea or feeling involves the use of colourful language,
then no one can hold it against you for using it.  And if you can
communicate the same message without swearing, no one can hold that
against you either.

I notice that this was back in August, but I just found the thread...

I too have a fear of swearing.. I cannot even spell the swear words
without feeling uncomfortable.  It's something that does not affect
everyday life, but is uncomfortable when I need to describe something
to someone that may include some 'bad' word even typing it makes me
feel very uncomfortable, it even includes words like 'cr-p' and words
that maybe are not really swear words, but are used in a swearing
manner.   In my case, my parents did use swear words (my father used
all of them including the 'f' word and my mother would use 'd-mn' and
the 'sh' word) and they were not overly moral people, but I am.  I am
now in my  early 50's and have never gotten over this.

What kind of a #@%*!*$ question is that? I can?t believe my
&%$^#**&@#!%$^#%#@$$# ears.

Cursing is wrong because the person that is offended is God Himself.
Why? Because you are asking God to condemn someone or something that
He lovingly created. That?s what a curse is. If it?s said without
meaning, then what?s the point of saying them? And curse words do not
change with every generation, slang changes. And slang words do not
apply to what we are talking about here. A curse is specific. It is
meant to bring God?s wrath and anger down and not just to be said
because someone doesn?t know what else to say.

My grandfather used to say, ?God gave us a tongue for one reason and
one reason only, to praise and glorify His name. And if you?re not
going to use it for that, I have no problem taking it back.? And the
Scriptures speak of the importance of language when we read, ?A man
advances himself by his words, a prudent man pleases God? (The Book of
Sirach 20:26). So I guess my point is this, just be careful with the
words you use. Everything we should be about is professing blessings,
not curses. Let the love of God and His gentle spirit always dictate
the choice of words you use.

I?ll be praying for you.

As followers of Christ, our speech and our thoughts should reflect the
teachings of Christ Jesus. Being faithful to our calling as Christians
includes our consistently adhering to the powerful words of Jesus,
"Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who
curse you, pray for those who abuse you." (Luk 6:27, 28) This
exemplifies real courage, true, wisdom, might, and unconditional love,
agape.

When one curses, one is betraying Christ, just as Peter did when he
cursed and betrayed Christ. (See Mat 26:74 , NRSV.)

In the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew, Jesus instructed us, 

You have heard that the ancients were told, 'You shall not commit
murder' and 'Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.' But
I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be
guilty before the court; and whoever shall say to his brother, 'Raca,'
shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever shall say, 'You
fool,' shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. (Mat 5:21,
22, NASB)

mdh