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Q: Wildlife timber work ( No Answer,   3 Comments )
Question  
Subject: Wildlife timber work
Category: Science > Instruments and Methods
Asked by: stevedorsey-ga
List Price: $2.00
Posted: 07 Apr 2005 13:54 PDT
Expires: 07 May 2005 13:54 PDT
Question ID: 506439
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Answer  
There is no answer at this time.

Comments  
Subject: Re: Wildlife timber work
From: myoarin-ga on 07 Apr 2005 15:45 PDT
 
If Dorsey dotes and Dorsey dotes and little lamb sees ivy,
and Stevie stokes and Stevie stokes, until he said: Oh, bly me!
On whom did Dorsey dote, and why did Stevie never choke?

You probably are too young to catch the reference.

Oh, the woodchuck:  If he were a real eager beaver, he could chuck a
cord a day, but I don't think he could stack it neatly.
Subject: Re: Wildlife timber work
From: hfshaw-ga on 08 Apr 2005 10:19 PDT
 
He would chuck what a woodchuck could chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.


There are, however, alternative theories on this.  See, for instance, 
http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=639629

http://www.getodd.com/stuf/stupid/woodchuck.html

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_083a.html
Subject: Re: Wildlife timber work
From: thx1138-ga on 08 Apr 2005 11:00 PDT
 
I answered this question a while back.  Here was my answer........

"After much consulting and searching the internet I have come up with
the following answers:

Origin: Unknown.  Although there is this unatributed reference to
Archimedes:
?History teaches us that when Archimedes (ca. 287-212 BC) finally
solved this ancient riddle he ran naked through streets shouting
"Eureka!" which of course is Greek for "Hand me a towel!" Luckily the
answer was later recorded on the Rosetta Stone. (Note: If you look
closely you can still make out the tiny woodchuck hieroglyphic). The
answer: 300 cubits, by 50 cubits, by 30 cubits of wood (or enough to
make one good size ark)?
http://www.beercanbob.com/bobfaq.html


Amount: There are many variables and contradictions on the net, but
the most convincing figure I could get is:
?About 2.73 cords per hour, depending upon the type of wood chucked
and the softness of said wood. Saplings take slightly less time and
are quite a bit more tasty than the older varieties. Petrified wood is
unacceptable. ?
http://nethistory.dumbentia.com/nm8801.html

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This from Cornell University:
?If a woodchuck's consumption is modeled by 
   r"c*sin t  +  t"(e^r)*cos t  =  (r^2)c    
and the woodchuck has an initial stomach capacity c=75cc at time t=0
and his rate is r, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a
woodchuck would chuck wood? ?
http://people.cornell.edu/pages/rcd9/surv.html
*CAUTION* the above website contains a graphic picture of a woodchuck,
trapped under a tree it was ?chucking?

This from the University of Washington. What is a ?woodchuck? ?
?First, let's get one thing out of the way: a "woodchuck" is a type of
marmot and is more commonly known as a "groundhog", or sometimes a
"whistlepig". All three names conjure up amusing etymological
possibilities, but the 'chuck' in 'woodchuck' probably derives from
one or more Native American languages (Algonquian "ockqutchaun" or
Cree "otcheck", etc.), so the origin of the 'chuck' part of the name
has nothing whatsoever to do with the verb 'to chuck', or 'to throw'.
Sorry if that bursts any bubbles--there's no Santa Claus either.?
http://www.lib.washington.edu/Ougl/fun/qboard/wood.html

and this from the University of Berkeley:
?Q: If a woodchuck could chuck wood, how much wood would a woodchuck
chuck?
A: I've heard that a woodchuck cannot chuck wood. I think I've also
heard 700. Of course, your guess is as good as mine.?
http://ist-socrates.berkeley.edu/~naclhv/seekersfaq.htm#q7

The phrase in latin. (Although I suspect its correctness)
?Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam
possit
materiari? ?
http://stpeter.holyinn.org/www/ramblings/1098.html


?Beer Can Bob? (fountain of great wisdom!) has this to say on the
matter:
?Q. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck
wood?
A. History teaches us that when Archimedes (ca. 287-212 BC) finally
solved this ancient riddle he ran naked through streets shouting
"Eureka!" which of course is Greek for "Hand me a towel!" Luckily the
answer was later recorded on the Rosetta Stone. (Note: If you look
closely you can still make out the tiny woodchuck hieroglyphic). The
answer: 300 cubits, by 50 cubits, by 30 cubits of wood (or enough to
make one good size ark).?
http://www.beercanbob.com/bobfaq.html

From the ?Bathroom Readerīs Institute:
?How much wood would a woodchuck chuck 
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
We at the BRI have been working for years to answer this elusive
mystery. One study said 700 pounds, but how did they get that? We
decided to check ourselves. But before we can postulate a hypothesis,
there are many variables that need to be determined in order to create
a solid scientific theory. Are we talking about a full-grown
woodchuck? Male or female? What kind of wood is he or she chucking?
Pine? Maple? The wood paneling on a 1974 Dodge Wagon? To what
measurement are we gauging the chucking? Per hour? Per day? Over the
course of the woodchuck?s entire life? And how do we define of
"chuck?" The American Heritage College Dictionary (Third Edition)
lists three definitions for the verb form of chuck: 1) To pat or
squeeze fondly or playfully, 2) To throw or toss, and 3) To make a
clucking sound. Which of these chucks are we talking about? And then
there are the philosophical aspects to examine. Let?s say, for
argument, that a woodchuck really could chuck wood?would it even want
to? Woodchucks are busy animals, what with burrowing and all.
These are all important questions that BRI scientists are
investigating as we speak. Keep your eyes open, because you may be
seeing the answer in a future Bathroom Reader! ?
http://www.bathroomreader.com/faq.htm#20


?Ask Jeeves? (it would seem) doesnīt know
?10 questions Ask Jeeves can't answer:
Wazzzzzzzzzzzzuppppppppppppppppppppp? 
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Does my bum look big in this? 
Who's your daddy? 
Are we there yet? 
Know what I mean? 
Is there something you want to tell me? 
Where does the time go? 
You wana piece of me? 
How long is a piece of string? 
Source: http://www.seethru.co.uk ?
http://www.igcn.com/solutions/newsletter/0102.htm


Confused:
?But, see, woodchucks don't have opposable thumbs. I've always gotten
hung up at that point in the analysis. How do you get past it? Since
the question speaks simply of a woodchuck, it doesn't appear to assume
the presence of a modified woodchuck, whether through mechanical or
biological means.
Perhaps there is an implied measure of whimsy: allowing, say, for the
presence of some sort of wood-throwing machine rigged to an apparatus
that dispenses tasty treats to the woodhuck as positive reinforcement
for a desired button-pushing behavior. However, since this removes any
limits on wood-throwing capacity inherent in the physiology of a
woodchuck and makes it a test neither of the woodchuck's dexterity or
strength, the focus inevitably shifts to the wood-throwing throughput
of a (presumably) purpose-built wood-chucking machine. ?
http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=639629&lastnode_id=16056


?Q: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck
wood?
A: This question has floated around for years, and the answer is a
complex one: It depends largely on the woodchuck. Most woodchucks are
very efficient beasts and really only chuck wood on a need-to-chuck
basis. Nonetheless, each woodchuck has different needs, and thus the
question is unanswerable as posed?
http://216.239.51.100/search?q=cache:5gwq-l6rSXMC:www.pictoriarecords.com/Newsletter_Fall_1996.htm+%22the+answer+is%22+%22How+much+wood+would+a+woodchuck+chuck+%22&hl=en&ie=UTF-8

Thanks for the question and I really do hope this answers your
question.

THX1138

Search Strategy:
" if a woodchuck could chuck wood  " origin answer
://www.google.com/search?num=30&hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&safe=off&as_qdr=all&q=+%22+if+a+woodchuck+could+chuck+wood++%22+origin+answer&btnG=Google+Search
"
http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=44719

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