hi!
because we're planning our wedding, things have been hectic, and i
haven't planned anything yet for her birthday on august 25th!!  i'm
hoping for something different and a bit adventerous, to sort of as a
'de-stresser', ya know?  i heard about flying lessons, trapeeze
lessons, and flying lessons, and maybe a hot air baloon.  i love all
these and am looking into them.  do you suggest anything else?  can we
do a flight simulator?  i'm just looking for something fun, different,
experiential, and engaging.  i'd apprecitate any help!!  thanks!  bob
leoni, oak park, il

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Clarification of Question by leoni1234-ga on 23 Aug 2005 08:56 PDT

hi guys!

wow!  thanks for all the great input!!  i very much appreciate it.  so
where am i at?  well, we're having dinner with her fam on thursday,
where i'll try to hook up some live music (guitar/violin) at the
restaruant.  then it turns out that a good friend of mine is
suffereing from cancer, so we're going to see him on friday.  sunday
is our day together at the lake house, where i think what i'll do is
either send her to a spa for half the day, cook her dinner, pack a
picnic, etc. or, i may just give her a massage on my own (we just got
a new massage table).  she does want to spend time with me, quality
time, so i don't want to send her off for a day.  but also what i'm
thinking, is that while she's at the spa, i'll write and finalize our
wedding vows, so that'll be one more thing off the list, and it'll be
special that i'm writing them.  of course they wont be final, i know
some of you might say that that's not what every girl wants, but i
know that she'd love that effort on my part.  so, given that, is there
anything else that you can think of that might make that relaxing day
a bit more special??  thanks, all, sooooooo much for the input!!!  i
definately will do the flying thing soon, i appreciate all the
comments regarding that- i know she'd love it, but my bank account is
SMALL these days!!!  thanks again,
bob leoni ;-)

What would de-stress her might be very different from what would
de-stress you. Some of the activities you listed could be considered
stressful instead of fun. My guess is that you're fairly young and
used to doing everything together. This could be adding to the stress
of the wedding preparations. She might enjoy a break from the intense
togetherness.

Why not give her a certificate for a day spa visit along with a girl
friend or her maid of honor where she can relax and get pampered while
she takes a breather from the pressures of the wedding preparations.

Listen to Czh-ga.  Following her suggestion, you might ask the maid of
honor or girlfriend what would be a good suggestion.
We men are often not on the right wave length on things like this; 
what you have suggested  - as you say yourself -  are things YOU love
to do, exciting, but to me they sound like stress.
If the girlfriend does not have a great suggestion, I would suggest a
piece of jewelry  - something she can wear frequently, not just for
dress-up -  that will be a lasting memory.  It sounds like you are can
spend a little on something like that.  If you cannot decide by
yourself and surprise her over a quiet dinner with it, maybe you can
do a little advance work and then on the way to the dinner guide her
pass the store that seems to offer an appropriate selection and go in
with her and let her choose.

(Oh, if this were your choice, you could arrange with the store a
selection of items that she could choose from, without price tags,
having arranged about payment before hand  - credit card, the store
has an already coded invoice, just  has to swipe your card again, and
let you sign the invoice.  Well, you get the idea, letting the store
present items in your price range and making the paying as discrete as
possible.  Maybe the store has a better suggestion.)

Good luck, Myoarin

Or you two could go hang gliding on kitty hawk (for beginners lots of
fun) plan on a whole day, they can take you and her up on a tandem tow
and she can 'fly' with an instructor, if she enjoys any of what you
said she will love this.

http://www.kittyhawk.com/

A visit to a spa can be a great de-stressing experience. This isn't in
your area, but similar services exist all over the country. Check this
out:

http://www.lprdayspa.com/couples-treatments/

Be careful. Some women would definitely NOT appreciate any spas or
jewelry, or most objects purchased in a store. I know because I'm one
of 'em. I'd MUCH prefer the flying, or the hot air balloon ride,
though the idea of you giving her a massage yourself does have some
merit.  ;-  Just use what you know about your fiance to help you
decide. If she IS the type to enjoy those other things, then sure,
send her to a spa. But since you two are planning your wedding, I'd
think she'd much rather be with you than strangers or even other
friends. And if she's the adventurous type, then you're likely already
on the right track.

So -- has she ever mentioned anything along the lines of "Oh, I've
always wanted to ______?"  If so, there's a clue. Ideas?  What about a
motorcycle ride by moonlight? Don't have a bike? Ok, head to the
nearest go-kart track instead, maybe. How about paintball? I've never
done it actually, but I did play war games once at midnight with
shaving cream balloons, and it was a blast! From what I've heard about
paintball, sounds pretty similar. Laser tag, maybe?

A flight sim would be great, but unless you know of one in your area,
might be hard to find, and those things are *very* expensive. On the
other hand, you can purchase a an introductory flight lesson for $49
from Be a Pilot, here: http://www.beapilot.com/register.html If you go
that route, talk to the instructor and ask if you can go along, or
purchase two and take turns. My first flight lesson was one of the
most exhilarating experiences of my life. I was so euphoric I didn't
really hit the ground until hours after I landed.

Good luck - and have fun! 
Byrd-ga

Please note that my spa suggestion was for a "couples spa," not a solo
service. It is, of course, true that some women may not enjoy massage
and hot tubs and such things. You're the best judge of that.

Take her on a romantic getaway to somewhere like the Poconos:

http://www.caesarspoconoresorts.com/default.aspx?pageid=33

(whosyourdaddywhosyourdaddywhosyourdaddywhosyourdaddywhosyourdaddywhosyourdaddy
-- Yeah buddy!!!!)

They're running specials this month.

Leoni1234 --

Sailing off the Chicago lakefront is splendid in August & September
and the weather is generally kind.  My recommendation -- charter a
sailboat (30'-40' is a nice size) and sail out before sunset.  The
city's splendid with the sunlight disappearing.

Make your plans to sail all night (there's a near constant breeze on
the lake once you're away from shore).  First you'll hear the city
noise disappear; then the city lights will receed (it's 48 nautical
miles to Benton Harbor, so it's a long way across).  After twilight it
will be so dark on the lake that you'll see the Milky Way -- even
while the horizon glows from the lights of Michigan City, Gary and
Chicago. Often the aurora borealis is visible to the north around
midnight.

After about 4-5 hours, have your skipper come about and take you back
so that you're near the Chicago harbor at dawn.  Now the city's
buildings are all aglow from the sun rising in the east and on a clear
morning the glass skyscrapers will be so bright that they'll look like
mirrors.

You can charter from Chicago or even as far north as Waukegan Harbor. 
I'd recommend called Crowley Yacht Yard (Sailboat Sales) and tell them
what you want to do.  They should be able to find you someone who
would do a crewed charter.

--

Option B: hot air ballooning.  Again the season is perfect, with light
winds.  You can choose the afternoon, when it's warmer -- but the
light air in the morning often allows them to make spectacular low
passes over fields and lakes:

Windy City Balloonport
http://www.wedofly.com/hot_air_balloon_rides_fox_river_valley.htm

Best regards,

Omnivorous-GA

Okay, send her somewhere with her GF and take Byrd-ga flying.  No ...?
If it should be an outdoor event, tell us where you are.  Poconos,
Kitty Hawk, Chicago?   (Ah, finally read to the end:  Oak Park.)
Why not a picnic with a catered picnic-basket dinner: surprise meal,
champagne (not much or any driving, even if you don't drink).
My idea is to make it memorable without demonstrative extravagance.
It's nice to be able to afford anything, but togetherness shouldn't be
dependent upon purchased thrills.

The Beneteau 39 will do fine --
http://www.windycitysailing.com/beneteau393.html