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Q: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ... ( Answered 5 out of 5 stars,   16 Comments )
Question  
Subject: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
Category: Relationships and Society > Politics
Asked by: probonopublico-ga
List Price: $5.00
Posted: 16 Mar 2006 02:28 PST
Expires: 15 Apr 2006 03:28 PDT
Question ID: 707904
To obtain the title H.R.H. Prince Bryan of Hove and become the heir to the throne?

Clarification of Question by probonopublico-ga on 16 Mar 2006 09:20 PST
I hasten to add that absolutely no impropriety is intended nor should
any be inferred.
Answer  
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
Answered By: answerfinder-ga on 18 Mar 2006 02:41 PST
Rated:5 out of 5 stars
 
Bryan,

Thank for accepting my comment as an answer. I thought I would let in
run for a while.

As I indicated, I think the main loan should be for the purposes of
improving communication within the Labour Party. That is, let your
left hand know what your right hand is doing.

Perhaps another solution is to adopt something like the German system.
Then, if you as a tax payer fund the election campaign, perhaps you
would be immediately entitled to a peerage. Every tax payer could be a
Lord or a Lady.


"Major sources of revenue for political parties are membership fees,
private donations and reimbursements from public funds for election
expenditures. Membership fees and private donations of up to ? 3,300
per person and ? 6,600 for couples are tax-deductible. Contributions
exceeding ? 10,000 have to be listed in the parties' published
reports, together with the name and address of the donors. There is a
general concern that big donors might influence parties for their own
purposes. Therefore, following the Parties Financing Act, which came
into effect on 1 January 1994 and has subsequently been amended,
parties receive from the state ? 0.70 for each vote cast for their
party list in the respective state in European, Bundestag and Landtag
(state parliament) elections. Derogating from this, parties receive ?
0.85 per vote for the first four million valid ballots cast for theirv
state list. In addition, for each Euro parties receive in membership
fees or lawful donations of up to ? 3.300, the state reimburses them ?
0.38. State reimbursements for election expenditures may not exceed
the funds raised by the parties themselves in any given year. The
maximum annual amount of public funds for all parties together may not
total more than ? 133 million (upper limit). These reimbursements are
granted condition to the party polling at least 0,5% of the votes cast
in European or Bundestag elections or 1.0% in state elections."
http://www.german-embassy.org.uk/elections_and_political_partie.html
http://www.germanculture.com.ua/library/facts/bl_parties.htm


answerfinder-ga

Clarification of Answer by answerfinder-ga on 18 Mar 2006 04:33 PST
Sorry, a thought just entered my head.
When the loan is paid back, does the title also have to be given back?
probonopublico-ga rated this answer:5 out of 5 stars and gave an additional tip of: $5.00
Thank you kindly Answerfinder. As always, you are impeccable.

I shall now ask one of my aides-de-camp to invite you to my
Coronation. Your wife, too.

With regard to the Tip I shall enter, I would like you to accept this
by way of a loan ... just in case things do not work as well as you
have outlined.

Bonnie Prince Bryan

Comments  
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: answerfinder-ga on 16 Mar 2006 02:48 PST
 
Well, if  Chai Patel, Barry Townsley, and Sir David Garrard, are said
have loaned 4.5 and were nominated for peerages, then for you to
obtain H.R.H. Prince Bryan of Hove AND heir to the throne would need
substantially more.
I suggest the following loans:

Loan of 25 million to the Labour Party to improve training in
communications, especially on the theme of letting the left hand known
what the right hand is doing.
Loan of 35 to Tony Blair for a year?s supply of Grecian 2000.
Loan of 25 to the Conservative Party to dissuade them from voting for
the government ever again.
Loan of 2 million to the England Rugby team to improve their catering
facilities to prevent food poisoning,
Loan of 5 million to England and Wales Cricket Board to improve
cricket training in schools and to give us a chance a beating India in
the years to come.

Of course, it remains to be debated as to whether your loans are in
fact a euphemism for a bung.
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: probonopublico-ga on 16 Mar 2006 03:26 PST
 
Brilliant, Answerfinder, Many Thanks!

I knew I could rely on you.

Please post your Comment as an Answer so that I can take it along to
my Bank Manager.

With your endorsement, I soon expect to become ...

Prince Bryan the Good
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: pinkfreud-ga on 16 Mar 2006 10:24 PST
 
I suggest that the first official act of Prince Bryan the Good should
be to clean up the corrupt government that has been accepting spurious
"loans" in return for favours.
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: kemlo-ga on 16 Mar 2006 10:39 PST
 
Bryan you could leave the Prince of Wales several hundred million in your will.
When he becomes king he will be very apreciative
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: probonopublico-ga on 16 Mar 2006 11:47 PST
 
Dear Pink

As Pretender to the British Crown, I cannot accept that there is or
ever has been any corruption in the British Government, except (of
course) Robert Walpole (the first British Prime Minister) who was
found guilty of corruption and imprisoned in the Tower of London
BEFORE he became Prime Minister.

As you would expect, Wally Walpole behaved impeccably after landing
the top job and it is often argued that he was the best PM ever.

In view of this, I intend to require that all politicians should have
a criminal record before they will be allowed to offer themselves for
election.

Sorry, Kemlo, but I plan to outlive Charlie and I intend to leave my
billions to build a suitable memorial to the memory of his late
beloved (whoever that may be). Wow - can you imagine the rush of
claimants?

Prince Bryan the Good
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: pinkfreud-ga on 16 Mar 2006 11:59 PST
 
>> I intend to leave my billions to build a suitable memorial 
>> to the memory of his late beloved (whoever that may be).

Perhaps the boodle should be donated to the City of Tulsa, which has
already erected a statue of a golddigger:

The Golden Driller
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/b/bd/Golden_Driller_Sm.jpg
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: probonopublico-ga on 16 Mar 2006 12:36 PST
 
Thank you kindly, Pink, but that Tulsa Statue looks nothing like any
Gold Digger I've ever seen, for example, Ruby Keeler, Ginger Rogers or
Joan Blondell.

There ... I bet that even you don't recall any of those names. Right?

All the Best

Prince B the G

(Do you think I should change my 'handle'?)
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: pinkfreud-ga on 16 Mar 2006 12:43 PST
 
Prince B,

Regarding the matter of whether or not you should change your
'handle', it is my opinion that a gentleman's 'handle' typically
becomes better and better with age and frequent use. Starting afresh
with a brand-new 'handle' would be a pity, unless the old one is
entirely worn out.
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: myoarin-ga on 16 Mar 2006 13:28 PST
 
Prince Bryan,
You are absolutely right about Walpole and co.  One of the main
disturbances in what are called democracies is that the amateur
pickpockets elected to office have not been through Fagan's school. 
They keep ringing the bells  - a disturbance of the sleeping populace
per se -  but much worse, they keep calling attention to their
misdoings, casting miscredit on the whole system.  Very bad.
In at least one part of your erstwhile colonies - NY (learned it here)
-  they let criminals stand for election but don't let them vote. 
Very clever, avoiding the rascals putting the rascals into office.

As to a new handle, don't go to any pains.  Your old and present one
is very appropriate to a pretender to the thrown.
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: probonopublico-ga on 16 Mar 2006 22:32 PST
 
Many thanks, my Loyal Subjects-to-be.

I should like to invite you all to my Coronation in June 2007.

Well not quite all of you, I would like one of you to volunteer to
look after Daisy.

Don't worry, I shall leave some food for you, too.

My Royal Highness-to-be

Prince Bryan the Good
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: archae0pteryx-ga on 17 Mar 2006 00:06 PST
 
Your Goodness Prince Bryan,

I'll look after Daisy.  We'll watch you on television and have a
better view anyway, and no sore feet.  Please leave enough champagne
for both of us.

Also I need to know if she is still carrying on with that seagull and
if there is any other behavior I have to keep an eye open for.

To your health--
Tryx
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: probonopublico-ga on 17 Mar 2006 03:03 PST
 
Is that the adorable Tryx who has come a-calling?

It is! And as kind as ever!

Thank you for offering to look after Daisy. Offer accepted. Watch out
for the next Honours List, I've put you down to become a Dame of the
British Empire, totally free of charge, except for the administration
fee of $500.

You enquired about Daisy's love affair with the Seagull but I am sad
to say that it all ended in tears.

Daisy became pregnant and give birth (if that's the right word) to six
lovely eggs. I had two for brekkers but she sat on the others until
they hatched, then disaster!

Baby crocodiles popped out and tried to eat their Mum.

Naturally, I wasn't having any of that so I threw them into the sea.

They're growing up now and getting lots to eat, mainly American
tourists who would otherwise have cluttered up the beach.

So, as the Bard said, 'All's Well That Ends Well'.

Bonnie Prince Bryan the Good
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: probonopublico-ga on 17 Mar 2006 22:23 PST
 
Now I'm worried.

If I do make a loan to the Labour Party, how on earth will they be
able to repay me?

And if my loan ever becomes public knowledge how can I convince the
general public that I had no ulterior motive?

Life ain't easy, is it?

A Very Worried Prince Bryan
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: myoarin-ga on 18 Mar 2006 06:28 PST
 
Hi Bryan  - sorry,  Prince Bryan,

This little story about the loans even made my paper today.  I expect
that someone thought that the loans would not have to be revealed as
major donations, and that the forgiving of them could also occur
unseen.  (Have to check German Party Law on this.)

The threat that you could bankrupt the Labour Party would be worth
almost more than having the millions back.  Think of the leverage the
king would have on party!  If in control of the government, you could
dictate to the PM; if in opposition, you could squeeze it to go along
with Tory bills.  :-D
Of course, you would probably owe something to your bank(s), but I
don't know if they could or would dare to dun the king (or you sell
your note on the party).  You could sell off a few paintings or get
Prince Charles to unload some of his real estate.  I am sure that you
would be a very respected surrogate father  - besides having a soft
spot for his wife.

Go for it!
Oh, you might get out your kit and start riding again.  You'll need to
be able to take the Birthday Parade on horseback.  Also watch a few
films of royalty to learn the proper gestures.

I was going to suggest your marrying the Pr... R...l to get a little
of what the Germans call "Stallgeruch", but maybe there are some
sacrifices you are not willing to make.  By chance, I saw her once at
a school benefit in Eccleston Street:  delightful event, reminded me
of old films' scenes of local country fairs, but no coconut shy. 
(This has nothing to do with previous sentence. ;)

So trot around to Coutts & Co. on Monday.

"Your most humble and obedient servant",  Myo
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: answerfinder-ga on 19 Mar 2006 03:56 PST
 
Bryan,
Many thanks for the er.., loan. I shall make sure my financial boys
and know about it. I'll use it to buy the best bib and tucker I can
find. Must look smart for the coronation.
answerfinder-ga
Subject: Re: How much must I lend the Labour Party in Britain ...
From: probonopublico-ga on 19 Mar 2006 05:37 PST
 
Thank you Sir Answerfinder.

I have also decided to make you a Knight of the Garter, a rare honour.

I hope that you have a suitable garter (to be worn at all times).

If not, I will keep my eyes open.

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