Hi.... this is not a very difficult question yet I am not clear for
what I should do.

Situation: I am finishing my master's degree in Belgium and my
boyfriend is an Italian living for the moment in Ireland. I am from a
country in Latin America. We would like to get married but not right
away since we would like to do it in my country and we need to save
money. I have looked for a job in Ireland and here in Belgium but I
now have to say that it is impossible for me to get a job since I am
not an EU national. My parents are very narrow minded and so option 2
is the most difficult for me since it will bring me lots of sorrow and
missunderstanding from my family.

Question: we have 3 options and I would like an advice on what we should do.

option 1: Leave to my country and get married there in a very small
celebration, in febrauary or mach... do I get the working permit right
away to come back with him or this option would not be worth it? DO we
have to get married in the Italian embassy or by my country laws? how
long does this procedure takes? is it worth it to be apart that long??

option 2: Marry here... do we have to get married in Ireland or
outisde of Ireland? I understand Ireland is very strict for granting
working permits and know of cases that have been waiting for 6 months
to get a permit. Is it better to get married in Belgium or another
country in the Italian Embassy or by the laws of the country?

Option 3: Getting married here in secrecy and save up money to have a
wedding like we would like in 1 or 2 years in my country.... can I get
married in 2 countries? how would the procedure be in that case?

Thank you so much for helping since we are in a lot of stress and do
not find an answer for all these!! very desperate!!! I don't want to
be apart from my boyfriend we love each other very much it sucks not
having money for the moment!!!

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Request for Question Clarification by hedgie-ga on 04 Jun 2006 05:40 PDT

Dear  azulceleste

  Perhaps I do not fully understand your trilema, since according to
all research I have here, you should be happy, not anxious and stress
out.

Perhaps this globalisation thing  is happening too fast, for people to
fully get it?

 This is what it looks like to me:
1)  All countries recognize the marriage made in another country. So
it really does not matter whre you get married. You just need to be
able to document the mariage and for that you need to know about
appostille.
2) There is no reason to keep the marriage secret, since you always can have 
a second ceremony. Not even very narowminded parents will object to that.

So, it looks like you should may right away, in EU and get a job there.
When you have enough money, you go to LA and and have a secong ceremony.

What is that problem again?

There are some links on 'second ceremony' and 'apostille' at the end of this:
http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=438108

If you still see a problem, please, have a good night sleep, and elaborate.

Hedgie

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Clarification of Question by azulceleste-ga on 05 Jun 2006 00:44 PDT

Thank you for the advice... I think that when you are in the situation
and stressed out you don't seem to think clearly as people outside of
the problem does. Thank you I will inquire about the papers needed
etc.